New Year's Resolutions

So, it's a tradition to make promises to yourself every new year, resolutions. Another, lesser-known tradition is to sacrifice a cat at midnight, but I'll let Jake take care of that. Lots of people's resolutions don't last more than a month, at most. Then again, most people's resolutions are about important, world-changing things like their weight or their personal addictions. I don't think in such lofty terms. I don't worry about my weight, it's good joke fodder. My only addictions are books and electronics, and if anyone plans an intervention for me concerning those, they're gonna get a combat boot up their ass.

Okay. To get back on subject, I decided to make some resolutions for myself. Mostly out of boredom. But as I wrote them down, and thought about them, I realized that these are things that everyone should commit to, or at least try. So, pay attention.

Resolution #1: Question Authority.

I know, I know, you all do it on some level. But we don't do it enough. If we all began to ask why things have to be such and such a way, things might not actually have to be that way. They might actually be... dare I say it?.....BETTER. I'm probably going to get arrested now, for saying that things might not be perfect, but if you people questioned authority so much as I do you would have some to that conclusion already.

Resolution #2: Protect yourself from The Man.

I know that to most of you this is going to sound like more of #1, but it's hard to pad these out to the length I want, so, shut the fuck up. Anyway, back on topic. You people do realize that the Man is quite close to putting a tracking device up your asses, right? Honestly. IF you'd been watching the news lately (it sounds cynical but the truth is, most people my age have little to no interest in current events), you'd know that Bush has ordered wiretaps without court justification. This is illegal. Then there's the pile of steaming bullshit that is the Patriot act. I don't want to get too far into that; it's a post unto itself. But I will say this: the renewal has been delayed for two months. Delayed implies that it will come, it's just not here yet. When the skycap tells you your plane is delayed, what she means is "It just isn't here quite yet."

Resolution #3: If it's funny, laugh.

You people remeber Katrina, right? Of course you do. You remeber all the damage, and the looting that was going on, and how badly the government fucked up the whole thing afterward. Have you noticed that we've only just now started making fun of it? Carlos Mencia was making fun of in on Comedy Central's Last Laugh '05. I think John Stewart poked a bit of fun at the "black kid looting/white guy finding supplies" bit, but that was all that happened right after. Look, if it's funny, and you know it's funny, what's stopping you from laughing? Fear? Of what? They can't keep you from lauging, people! You want to be politically correct? FUCK that shit. Honestly. Look, you can go ahead and laugh at any joke. You can make fun of anyone you want. And anyone who tries to sue you, or get you arrested, or anything along those lines, is a dumb motherfucker. If we're all equal, then we're all equally deserving of abuse.

Resolution #4: Speak your mind.

Here's another thing that bugs me, and it's something I don't do enough. People, you have to say what you feel. Don't mince words, don't play mindgames with people, and of course don't lie. (Unless you're a well-known Republican, in which case you are by definition a pathological liar.) If you think you love someone, tell them. If you don't like someone, tell them that, too. If someone asks you for your honest opinion, or hell, just your regular opinion, give it to them. Don't fuck around. Well... usually. Keep social decorum, if the situation calls for it. If someone needs to be put in their place, do it. If someone needs to be elevated, and lots of people do, do it. It'll make you feel good. Making other people happy makes me feel good, and if it make me feel good it should feel like a hit of good coke to the rest of you.

Resolution #5: If it needs to be done, do it.

You know we all see it all the time. There's something that we look at or read about and say "Someone should do something about that." Then we keep walking and soon forget about it. Why? I don't know, I'm just as guilty as the rest of you. But if you see something, and you can do anything about it, do it. See a poor guy? Give him some cash. So what if he's just gonna buy booze, you probably wouldn't that much better with it. See someone being picked on? Put a stop to it. Your congressman, or governor, or president, is being a stupid fuck? Write a letter, send an email... write a blog post . I'm sure they'll be happy you pointed something out, if they're not too drunk or stupid to read it.

That's about it. I hope you think about it, and comment, 'cause I really feel that this lovely blog is going to waste, going unread, etc. Come on, am I really that boring?

Dragoste Din Tei

You've all heard it. Probably over, and over, and fucking OVER, until you're ready to claw out your eardrums. For most of you it's become and avatar of evil (which naturally means I like it a lot). What is it, you ask? You know. You KNOW. Two words....

Numa....

....Numa

Ahh, I can already hear the screams. It's a Romanian song. The name of the song is not "Numa Numa," it's Dragoste Din Tei. It was originally performed by The Outlaws, but most people know it by Ozone. Apparently it's the exact same thing either way, just two different bands. I hunted up the lyrics and translated them (yay for online translators!). Dragoste Din Tei means "Love from the Linden Trees." Don't ask me what a Linden tree is, I've no fucking clue and I'm not too interested in looking it up. The entire song is a cell-phone call, so you should know the following: "beep" means cellphone signal, or call. Another thing: You should really listen to the song on a pair of headphones/earpieces. It sounds a lot better and there's some stuff most people would miss on a regular set of PC speakers. I don't have a link to the song here, but trust me, you can find it anywhere. A good place to look is on Flashplayer.com. The Napoleon Numa Dance is really funny.(Well, shit. I guess I do have a link.) It's a Flash movie, so those of you with slow computers are advised to get the hell out there and UPGRADE, you little punks! Anyway, here are the original lyrics (posted without permission! I'm a REBEL!!).

Chorus 1 (4 times) [these don't actually mean anything, they're just sounds]
Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha

Verse 2
Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Chorus 3(2 times)
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Verse 4
Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

So, yeah, that's it. Some of you might be hearing it in your head right now. If you don't like the song then I HOPE you're hearing it your head, 'cause you deserve it, you uncultured prick. But to most people in the US, or at least all the people who read the utter shit I post, have no fuckin' clue what any of it means. So, here you go. Remeber, it's all a cell-phone call.

Chorus 1 (4 times)
Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha [These still don't actually mean anything. What, did you think random sounds in Romania would be words in English? No? Then why are you still reading this?]

Verse 2
Hello, greetings, it's me, an outlaw,
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I sent you a beep, and I'm brave [Possibly strong. It came out both ways.],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

Chorus 3(2 times)
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.

Verse 4
I call you, to tell you what I feel right now,
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I sent you a beep and I'm brave [again, might be "strong"],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

See? Wow, huh? That's really kind of deep. I like it. It actually seems to mean something, and it's not all about pseudo-rebellion (see also: those faggots Green Day), or how your dog done left ya, and your wife done left ya, and your truck broke down (see also: country music), or how wonderful and perfect America is (see also: the really bad country music that makes me nauseous), or bitches, drugs, guns, bling, and cars (see also: just about any rap song).

Lots of you know that I listen mostly to older music, like RUSH (all hail Lifeson, Lee, and Peart) and Pink Floyd, and the Beatles. Old lyrics fit the song and generally mean something. But I also like dance music, 'cause there's usually no lyrics to screw up the song. Well, that and I'm a computer geek so anything digital makes me drool. At the same time, I like foreign music, like J-rock (Woot for IZN, channel 75 on local cable!) and Russian Communist propaganda music (those "evil commies" sure knew how to compose a good march). I can't understand the words so I don't start analyzing the hell out of them and ruining them for myself. Oh, the music's also pretty good, too.

....And a happy new year

Cruise journal--Day 1

Still in port
4.40 PM

I am now, technically and legally, a visitor to the sovereign nation of Panama. I like it here; the people are friendly and speak at least broken english. Best of all, I can look out the window and see our car parked down the road in a lot. We're still in Galveston, but the ship is registered in Panama. Makes something cheaper, I think.

AS Report: 85% through book 4. Kato is a hardass now. I hope Metatron gets killed soon.

I miss my computer! And Largo and Ethan! And Miho...

Day 2

Fucking Nowhere
5.30

Slowww day. Really, all day at sea on the way to Cozumel. I'm not going to be able to hang out with people my age. None of them have the kind of quirks my friends at home do, the little eccentricities that make them fun to be around.

The damn thing [the ship] lists alot, from side to side. I tied a watch to one of the fire sprinklers in the cabin, just too see how far it was tilting. The most I ever saw was ~7 degrees, but I haven't been in the cabin all day.

The fscking toilets here could kill a man. It's like the airplanes on a toilet.... shit. It's like the toilets on an airplane. Lots of suction. The thing could rip your arm off if you let it.

AS Report: Almost done with book 7. Michael is frickin' awesome. When the hell is Setsuna getting out of Alexiel's body?

9.04 PM
I need anime.

Day 3

Between Cozumel and Progreso, Mexico
7.53 PM

Fssssssck. My back is sunburned and my shoulders hurt. See, that's why geeks don't go outdoors. The sun fscking hates us. I got burned snorkeling, which was pretty cool. I'd have a new hobby out of it if it wasn't for that damn gaseous orb. All in all, though, it's been a good day. OH! At about 7.30 this morning I was sitting on deck eating cereal and reading a book, and some kid's ball dropped into my lap. This little girl runs up and asks if she can have her ball back. I gave it to her and then there's this peircing shriek.

"JENNNYYYY!!!"[!]

This fat lady ran up and picked up the little girl. Then she looked me directly in the eye.

"Damn thug! Stay away from the children!"

I love that jacket.

AS Report:Almost done with book 10. Setsuna's still in a woman's body, can someone fix this please? If Kurai dies I'm gonna fsck somebody up. Whee! Kato's back! I've got a feeling that Raphy's ressurection attempt is going to get fscked up.

Day 4

Docked in Progreso, Mexico
4.31 PM

Fsck Mexico.

No, seriously, this place is a goddam hole. I knew Mexico was bad, socially, economically, whatever. Even the pickpockets are bad, so obvious. One guy didn't find my wallet right away and damn near started frisking me. But the vendors! ShitfuckcrapjesusCHRIST! You people remeber the Chappelle show skit where Dave is wandering around "in" the Internet? Remeber the Mexican guy who keeps popping up trying to sell him.... "enhancement" pills?

"Hey, Buddy! [pronounced "bah-dee"] Buddy buddy buddy! I have something great for you!"

The vendors are exactly like that.

"Hey, buddy! I have great deal for you! See this necklace? For anyone else, $40, but for you...$15! Good deal, yes!"

Fuck 'em. I did get a pretty cool skull shaped pipe, though.

AS Report: Done with 11, so I'm going to be bored as fsck tomorrow. YAY, Kurai didn't die, and Setsuna's back in his own body!

2.00 AM, technically the next morning, but still dealing with day 4.
At sea

Listened to an awesome band for about 3 hours tonight. They're a cover band called Blood Power. I usually don't care for cover bands, but these guys are GOOD. And they're covering good songs, too. They ended the main show with Metallica and the second show (and yes, that's "show" not "set") with "Freebird."

Day 5

At Sea
Noon

Boorrrred. I'm going to go see a guy carve a chunk of ice in an hour. That's how bored I am. I'm actually looking FORWARD to watching a guy cut up a chunk of ice with a chainsaw. Help me!

AS Special Report: I know I'm done with the books, but I've got one more thing to say: I was dreaming in manga frames last night. Not that I mind.

1.30
They cancelled the ice thing. They were going to have it on the open deck, but they called it 'cause it was too cold

Did everyone get that? They called off an ICE sculpture....

..... because it was too COLD.

Stop Dying, Dammit!

I just found last night that Richard Pryor died on the 11th. Why does nobody tell me these things? For those of you who don't know, Richard Pryor is one of the greatest comedians of recent history. He topped the list of Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians, beating out George Carlin, who came in at #2. I personally think that was a mistake, I'd say they're about equal, but no one asked me. Anyway....

It seems like all the greatest people of this century are dying. We just went through the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination last week. George Harrison died a few years back. Ronald Reagan's been dead for a while now. I may not agree with his policies but I have to admit he was a great man. Ghandi was assassinated in 1948. I think I can consider him a great person of this century, right? Martin Luther King, Jr and Malcom X were both offed, probably by the government, just like JFK. Pope John Paul II died not too long ago. Mother Theresa died, probably of some bug she picked up in Calcutta or something. Isn't it great how all the people in the world we thought of as good and peaceful are dying off? What's going to be left? Warmongers like Bush, wimps like Kerry? I don't think we can have it both ways on this one. Jim Morrison died of heart failure or an OD or something. Douglas Adams, of course; possibly the one death in the last few years that has truly affected me in any way. Mitch Hedburg, another good comedian killed in the line of duty.

Of course, some great men don't do things we consider good. Stalin, Mao, Lenin, and the like are all great men, like it or not. A great man (or woman) is one who does something that spreads to, and effects, the entire world. I mean, you can't say that Stalin didn't have an effect on the United States. If a person is repeatedly in the news, for lots of different actions, then it's a safe bet he'll end up a great man.

Some of the people we value who are still alive are getting along in years, too. Will Shatner isn't as young as he used to be. I saw him on Comedy Central the other night, he looked a bit tired. Denis Leary's still fairly young, but he's chain-smoked for so long that I'm afraid he'll start coughing up bits of lung in the middle of his act. George Carlin.... probably a heart attack, and I'll be the saddest bastard you've ever seen when it happens. Lewis Black, poor guy, he's probably going to be screaming on stage and have an aneurysm. Paul McCartney's looking old too.

Of course, these deaths wouldn't bother us so much if they didn't make us question our own mortality. It may seem true that only the good die young, but everyone dies sometime, right? Celebrities sometimes seem immortal to us. The death of person who, like it or not, is a part of society, will bring death into our minds pretty clearly. Celebrities don't make as much of an impact as people we know, but people we know don't die that often.

At times it seems we're desensitized to death. We see people die all the time. I can watch Keanu Reeeves die in The Matrix: Revolutions on TNT, then flip over to E! (not that I'd really want to; proving a point here) to watch him prance down the red carpet at some inane premiere. For most of us death is not a constant worry. We don't need to worry about tuberculosis or the Black Death or cholera. We're not going to die suddenly from disease. Everything that kills us now either takes years, like AIDS, or is really rare, like Ebola, or is totally unexpected, like random food poisoning. We don't pay much attention to violent death anymore either, when we can turn on the news and watch home video snuff films, security cameraed bank massacres, and the like, all of which is called news but is really just sensationalism.

We're fascniated by death, folks. It doesn't really affect us anymore, because we see it so often... but that's because we want to see it. Death is a fact of life, yes, but it fascinates us. We don't know what's coming after, really. I mean, you can believe that you're going to heaven, or that you're going to be reincarnated, or whatever. But there's always that little bit of doubt, isn't there? Always that little bit of your mind, somewhere in the back where you try to hide it, to keep it quite. That little rational bit of gray matter that's thinking, What if I'm wrong? What if all the ideas I have are wrong, that when we die there's nothing left? That it's the end? It's the things we don't know, the things we don't understand, that draw us like the metaphorical moth to the candle flame (right before we fly right through it and come out nice and crispy). Bigfoot, UFO's, God, and the like are things we don't understand, and might never come to grips with. But the human mind is obsessed with discovery and comprehension. If we can't fathom something, we latch onto it like nothing else. Death is one of those things, or at least the afterlife. Probable afterlife. Possible afterlife?

So, yeah, I took one more quiz.

	The Twelve Days of Christmas for Alexander:
Day #	Who?		What they got you
1st			A flag from an obscure, newly formed country
2nd			An Ouija board
3rd			A long distance calling card which expired in 1998
4th			The costume of Frank from Donnie Darko
5th			A Vincent Van Gogh original
6th			The costume of Frank from Donnie Darko
7th			A coupon for cooked beets
8th			A love potion for trolls
9th			A Turkish passport
10th			A time machine
11th			A jock strap
12th			A book of all of the swear words in every language
Take this Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
( or, take the 'adult' version at QuizUniverse.com )

I'd say the book of swear words, the two Frank costumes, and the OuiJa board make up for the rest of the crap. (Seriously. I'd donate blood for a Frank costume, and I freaking hate needles.)

Quiz Time!

So, I got bored today, and also I really needed to move that emo thing a little lower in the post heirarchy. So I decided it was time for an internet quiz binge. I mostly found links from other blogs, I'm not a very good searcher.

Alexander's Random Movie Quote: 'Being bad feels pretty good, huh?' - John Bender, The Breakfast Club Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Yeah, I like that one.^ Good movie, good character, good quote.


God, 'tis like these people know me:

You fit in with: Atheism Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Atheist. You have very little faith and you are very focused on intellectual endeavors. You value objective proof over intuition or subjective thoughts. You enjoy talking about ideas and tend to have a lot of in depth conversations with people. 40% scientific. 60% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

^^See that shit? Creeeeeepyyyyy.....

It's almost like it's not turning back results entirely at random (I think I just ruined internet quizzes for a few of you.)"

You will go to jail for: Setting off cherry bombs on the roof of your school while yelling death to tyranny! Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I always knew I was a geek, but it's kind of hard to see it set out so bluntly:

You are a super geek You are into everything that is geeky – which is hard because there are so many types of geeks. You are very smart and have a great imagination. People who call you a geek are just jealous, right? Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I know I'm actually telling it these things, but still. I think this one might get me arrested:

You are 71% Conspiracy Nut You are a conspiracy nut. The government tops your list as the least trustworthy. You are into looking behind what you are given and analyzing propaganda to discover the truth. It's out there. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

There was a quiz for "Which RENT character are you?," but I didn't take it. I've honestly heard enough about RENT. Meanwhile, I've got a question: what in the hell happened to Quizilla? When I first went to that site, there were a few silly little things but mostly decent quizzes. Not many I was interested in, but they were good all the same. Now, they've got some honestly stupid shit going on. Seriously, here's some samples from the front pages:

• "Dear God, you've made me a Whore [True Poem]"
• "Suicidal Star"
• "cutting"
• "Dead Poetic Teen"
• "More than a Crush(A Harry&Ginny+Ron&Hermione story)"

Seriously. What in the hell? It's "Quizilla," not "StupidWorthlessDisgustingEmoShit-zilla." Come on, dammit, clean up your act. Most people aren't donating their money to you (if they are) to see this garbage. Look, poetry is all well and good, if it's good poetry. What's good, you ask? Here's one for the goth weirdoes: Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. The little whiny emo bastards might enjoy some Emily Dickenson. Poor girl died at, like, 20, from consumption.

Anyway, one last quiz. The required anime quiz. I had to try another quiz after this one, it surprised me a bit:

You're Alucard. You're undeniably badass and
nothing can stand before your immense power.


Which Hellsing character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

See? That's one, and I tried again:

Alucard. You are one of the remaining true immortal
vampires. You are so powerful, everyone fears
you. Even other immortal beings - 'cause you
can kill them. And you're possibly the biggest
bad ass ever. After being filled with hundreds
of assault rifle rounds, you belittle peoples
clothing style and complain about boredom and
make fun of people's power.


Which Hellsing Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

And there's two.. so I took another:

Alexander Anderson


What Hellsing charecter are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahh, that's more like it. Alucard's cool, but anyone who's a recurring threat to him is damn cool. Plus we have the same name, Alexander. I haven't told you all about that yet, have I? Eh. Ask me if you really want to know, it's something I'm rather keeping to myself.

An EMO post?! Th' Hell is Wrong with me?!

HA! I'm actually writing a post about me And do you know what the great thing about it is? I can almost guarantee it never reaches the intended target, so I'm writing this soppy shit for no reason whatsoever! Enjoy it, folks, I'm sure most of you will use it as ammunition for any argument we have for the next few months.

So.... a while back I met this girlI liked her; she was easily the smartest person I'd ever met. In fact, I really liked her. I'm allowed to do that, you know; just because I've never actually had a girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm some sort of fucking eunuchAs usually happens for me, nothing worked out like I planned at first, but I'm a tenacious bastard, I kept trying. Here's my track record:

• First Try: Shot down. Landing was fairly easy.
  
• Second try: Shot down again. Landing was a bit rougher this time, but managable.
• Third Try: "Shit! Where's that fucking landing strip?!?!"
  

.... yeah. That's about how it went. Lost the plane on that last landing, but I'm still here.

(Sorry, folks, but I'm going to have to cut this short. My comp froze and I lost everything beyond this point. I really don't feel like recreating it, and you'll soon see why.)

Anyway, like I said, cutting it short. Her name came up on the bus. She'd made me mad the week before, and I said "Damn bitch." I immediately felt bad about it, and said "No, I take that back. She's not a bitch." Eventually the first part got back to her, but not the second part. Ain't Murphy's Law great?

Now, a while back this girl moved away, and she can only reach me through MSN. She did today, and she was pissed. Now I'm being blocked. I guess I deserve it, but I don't think I've ever felt so numb in my life.

So, here's what I have to say to her:

I'm exceedingly sorry. I know that telling you I'm sorry won't help anything, but that's really all I can do. I said something that I shouldn't, and I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I never wanted you to hate me. It sounds schmaltzy and desperate, and I suppose it is, but I really do care about you. Again... sorry.

As for the rest of you... who read this blog.. I might be a little difficult to deal with the next few days. I'd like to say ahead of time that I'm sorry, and I'll be fine soon.

New Skin! Yay!

In case you hadn't noticed yet (not likely), I've got a new blogskin. Found at at blogskins.com, yadda yadda, credits are on the links page. Isn't HTML fun? I realize some of you probably can't see all of it; I can't on my home PC, but then, I know what it says, don't I? It's still partially under construction, but with any luck I'll have it all done by 10 tonight. I've still got to do some edits in the code for the profile, and I'm trying to insert one of the Haloscan comment links. I'll be getting some help with that if I can. If you see something that really needs to be fixed, and the comment box isn't up, most of you know one of my email addresses.

Update @ 8:41 PM: So, with a little bit of tweaking I got the comment thing to work, and got it in the right place. Thanks to Jenny and Annie for that, I took a look at the source for their blogs to figure out where to put it. Does anyone know what I should do with that "taggie board" space? I was thinking of a chatterbox, but I'm not sure. Suggestions welcome.

Enough=Enough

So..... I'm going to be a bit..... personal here. I'm going to use names, 'cause the people involved, and the people who know about it, are pretty much the only ones who come to this site.

Two of my friends broke up rather violently... I guess it was a year and a half ago, now. When I say, two of my friends, I don't mean that I was friends with one person and became friends with the other. I'd known Jenny since we were little kids at Brannen Elementary, and I'd known Jake for a long time, too.

Anyway.... there was this whole big blowup, that I won't go into. You all know one side of the story, or the other. Neither side is entirely correct, as there were no objective observers. The reason I'm writing for this is because of the things that have been cycling up and down since then.

There's a lot of hate on either side, and from time to time I've felt like I've been caught in the middle. You see, I'm a bastard and an asshole, but I'm also fiercely loyal to my friends. Loyalty, for me, is non-negotiable. Until you give me an absolutely irrefutable reason to leave you behind, I will not. But this isn't about me, is it?

Anyway..... things have been weird and crappy for the last year and a half. Jake hates Jenny.... but then, he doesn't. Jenny despises Jake..... I think. And I.... am am unwilling messenger.

Jake has made it his mission in life to show Jenny "how stupid she is." He says this every time her name comes up, and it pisses me off immensely. Jenny is not stupid. She's devastatingly intelligent, to be honest, and I'm glad to know her.

Jenny "doesn't want to breathe the same air" as Jake. I'm not sure why.... he's usually not sick. Jake is not a bad person, he just has a piss-poor attitude. I do too, actually.

It's been a long time, people. Why can't we have some reconciliation, here? Everyone involved did something wrong, and everyone who's still around can admit that, right? I'm certain that there can be, if not true peace, than an end to overt hostility. It's possible, but there's only one question.....

Who's going to make the first move?

De-Religiosity!

To begin, I am not the following:

• Anti-christian
• Anti-religion
• Evil. Well.... not really. I think. Right?
  
• The Antichrist

Okay? We all understand this, right? Now, onto the good stuff.


I think I opened some eyes today. Well, I suppose I should say we opened some eyes Wednesday, we being me and Jake.

There's this kid in our Math Models class, who is very, very religious. Naturally I won't tell you his name, we'll call him "B." He's a smart kid, though you might not think so on first meeting. I've known him for years, and I'm glad to know him, he's a good guy. But like I said, he's very religous.

Let's get something established here: I am not antireligous. I think faith is a great thing to have, and I'm rather peeved that my mind won't allow me to have it. I simply do not think that people should follow the Bible, or the Koran, or the Torah, or whatever, without ever thinking about it, which is what lots of people seem to do. I think everyone should question all authority at all times, and that certainly includes religion. Here's some of the ways I think it should be questioned.

1. We all recognize that the bible was written by men

The fact that it was written by men means it is colored by man's perceptions. I don't care if God himself if standing in front of you and dictating it directly; you're going to hear what you want to hear, and that's what's going to be written down. Moses put down the laws of the Hebrews, right? It really doesn't matter who did, for this, but let's say it was Moses, okay? [Pure supposition begins here] Suppose Moses was really, really grossed out by homosexuals. He was the first in a long line of homophobes, and decided that it might be a good idea to do something to get rid of them. So, he took the dictation from God, and then.... added some stuff. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but the bible says nothing about abortion. So shouldn't we be smacking anyone who says "God says abortion is wrong!" Wouldn't that be blasphemy, or at least eisogesis?

2. Could you send good people to hell?

It is believed by most monotheists that those who do not share their faith will burn in hell, or whatever. Imagine this scenario: you are God for a day. Maybe you won a contest or something, I don't know, it's your imagination. Anyway, during your day as God, someone dies. For this argument, let us assume that you are the Judeo-Christian God, and and the man who dies, let's say he's an atheist. Now, he is an atheist, but he has led an exemplary life. He did the regular kid things that are "wrong," such as lying to his parents. We all did that at some point, right? Anyway, he has led an exemplary life as an adult, unknowingly following all the teachings of the church. He dies saving a little girl from a fire. He is pretty much on the fast track to wings, harp, and halo.

But he's an atheist.

What do you do? Could you, as a loving God, send this man to hell? Do you think God Himself can? Do you think he should? God's supposed to know all of us, knitted us together in the womb, etc. Suppose you knew the guy that well? Could you send him to hell then?

3. So, are you absolutely certain you're right?

There's no way to prove God. There is no equation for the divine, no empirical evidence, no scientific process to definitively solve the question of God. You believe you are right, and that what your book says is what you should live by. But what if you're not? Have you ever thought that you might be wrong? This brings us back to question 2: If you are wrong, don't you hope the right people's God is a bit more forgiving than the one you believe in? Uh-oh..... suppose you are wrong, and all your life you've called the people who were right names like "pagan" and "heathen." What does that mean for your immortal soul? And what if no one was right? The theological implications are simply staggering! If no one is right... what happens when we die? Suppose God is really pissed at us 'cause we never figured it out! We'd all be screwed!

4. Do you honestly think God is going to pay particular attention to your prayers, or in fact you in general?

How many people are hanging onto this rock now? Still 6-point-something billion, isn't it? That's a whole lot of people, most of whom are praying to one god or another. And many of the prayers are utter bullshit. "Please, God, let the Angels win the pennant," and such shit. So what do you think the odds are that yours are getting through? And suppose you're one of the people with one of the bullshit prayers? You've run up a huge list of stupid prayers, and at this point even the angel secretary is dumping your requests directly into the ephemral shredder. Then all of the sudden you have a terminal disease, and start praying in earnest, but.... at the same time your team gets into the World Series/Superbowl/Rose Bowl/what the hell ever. The angel starts dumping your stuff even faster, and you're dead as a doornail in a few months. Also, it's kind of hard to believe that he's listening to some well-off middle-class american than some poor guy in Africa who has AIDS, E.Coli, and is starving. He'd rather listen to your pleas for a new season of Trigun or Desperate Housewives or Chapelle's Show (I've got a wide audience here), than some poor guy in Siberia who has to eat snow to survive. You're just bitching, these guys are dying. You really think he's going to help you?

I'm sure there was much more to the argument than that, but I've been working on this post for several days, off and on, and I can't remeber any more of it. I know this post made some people mad, but I really hope it made some people think, too. Comments, please.

Randomity

So what's up with all the fucking angst? Why are people who should be happy, not happy? People who have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a job and thus money, or a licence-- in short many of the things I wish I had-- whining and complaining and acting like fucking emo's while I'm over here cracking evil jokes and laughing my ass off pretty much constantly? The only people I know who aren't always talking about how fucking bad they have it, I communicate with only through bits and bytes. While I may complain from time to time about things being bad, it certainly isn't fucking constant, and I at least try to make it funny and amuse people while complaining.

+=+=+=+=+=+

Speaking of emo.... can you think of anything less useful for someone to be? I can't. All the little bastards do is smoke and pretend to hate everything.

"Oh, god, I hate my life. I can go down to Hot Topic with daddy's money and buy myself an entire wardrobe in one afternoon. I hate the world. I've got lots of friends who are just like me. I hate my family. I pretend to commit suicide because then people think I'm cool and edgy."

There appears to be absolutely no point to this crap! They're halfway between Goth, which is kind of cool, and wussy-nerd-dumbass. They need to fucking choose.

+=+=+=+=+=+

I want to move to California.

Ehhhh.... college?

So, if you didn't know, I'm a senior in Highschool, planning to graduate. This means within a year, I, and many of my closest friends, are going to be heading to one college or another every morning, Monday through Friday. I'm not sure I'm happy about this. I know most people aren't happy about change, but I like to think I'm one of the few people who embrace change, just for the challenges it brings. So, while I'm happy that I will likely be away from home, and attending classes that I will enjoy, I'm a bit... not frightened, men aren't allowed to be frightened. Let's say worried.

Now, Ids hazard a guess that at this point most of you are thinking I'm worried that I'll be away from home. F*ck that shit, I want to get away from here. What bothers me about moving out of here is that I will be away from my friends, my teachers, all the people who keep me sane.

I'm not sure where I'll go to college. I'm looking real closely at Brazosport College and Lon Morris, both of which are two-year. I was impressed by the Honors program presentation at U of H the other night. Also, it has been suggested that I attend college in California, which might be pretty cool too. After all, that's where Bigfoot is. I'd like to get that sucker skinned and stuffed. Plus I think I'd be much happier there than here, location-wise, and there's at least one person there who could keep me sane. I think the best plan I have for now is to go to BC or Lon Morris for a year, then transfer to either UofH or somewhere in California. Two of the people who are instrumental in my maintenance of logic, reason, and control will be going to BC, so that looks most likely right now.

But I think I'd be a bit... lost... without some of the people around here. Jake is moving to Georgia, or at least he wants to. I don't think I could take Georgia for very long. I've never been good at suffering fools, and hillbillies are near the top of that particular list. I've not heard plans from anyone else, but I know someone who's already going to school in another country. I expect that I'll be near enough to someone that we could talk, but I'm not sure it'll be someone I'll want to talk to.

I suppose I could keep in touch with blogs, email, and Instant Messaging, but you know as well as I that it's not the same. I guess it would be worse for people talking to me, since I refuse to use chatspeak and emoticons. I have little enough emotional involvement as is, and I don't need to confuse people with such foolishness as emoticons. I don't use chatspeak because it's just another perversion of the english language, and screws up what the rappers haven't destroyed already.

Anyway.... I'm sure I'll do good in college, much better than highschool. At one point someone thought I was "talented," so I got to take the ACT in junior high. Apparently my test scores were rather impressive. I took the SAT not too long ago, and did rather good, excepting math, of course. I just took the ACT again last weekend, and though the math was a small slice of hell, I think I did better this time. I'm hoping my test scores will be enough to get me some kind of scholarship, 'cause my grades sure as hell won't.

Hey, folks, guess who got dropped off at home in a squad car last night?

That's right, they finally got yours truly into one of those rust buckets. I was hanging out with some kids from the school, and before I hooked up with them, a mailbox had been broken. The kid who did it, we'll call him "A," had been skating along, and jumped off his board to run alongside it. He hit the curb funny and slammed into the mailbox, taking it off about halfway up. Rather than simply going up to the house and telling what happened, they took off running. I joined up with them shortly after. A kid who lived in the house saw what happened. He and his brother started following us around in a truck, keeping to the streets where they could see us, while we went off the roads into the ditches.

No, that's not stalking at all.

Anyway, we went into this large, empty park, and the truck drove by. A few seconds later, the cops showed up. By the time I knew what was going on, and turned around, the guy was already getting out. He tells us to get against the car, then says, "I just want you boys to know that if you run from me you'll be in some big fucking trouble." Right there I knew that I, personally, was in little to no trouble. If the cop was that relaxed, and wasn't screaming, I was good since I didn't do anything. I know now that we most likely could have run, and gotten away, since we know the area better than any cop, and know a couple dozen good places to hide, but at the same time I'm glad we didn't. I was a bit impressed that they'd actually caught us, and I guess I didn't want to tarnish their moment.

So, he takes us to the house, and the little kid, a friend of my brother's, narcs like a little bitch, and apparently added to his story a bit. He said that he had watched for about 5 minutes as "A" had outright attacked the mailbox, punching it, kicking it, smacking it with his skateboard... none of which happened. Now, let me tell you about the two families involved in this incident. "A's" family is not well-off. I mean, unless you're reading this at a school or library, you're paying for an Internet connection, and you bought a PC. That's not cheap, folks. They probably couldn't do that, and this is in an era when everyone and their dog and their dog's fleas have computers. The other family? Two bigass trucks in the driveway, that probably guzzle gas faster than a stoner can empty a twinkie warehouse. Both trucks are driven fairly often. I've not seen into the garage, which means there might be another two cars in there. The house is good-sized, and on the creek, which may be a shitty creek, but it still drives up the property value a bit. The people who live their, or at least their sons, aren't the most law-abding people in this town. I mean, they're not criminals, but their kids drive their dirtbikes in the street (illegal), blow up mailboxes (also illegal), and fire off shotguns in the backyard (what do you think?). Normally, none of this would bother me overmuch, except for a few things. First, the family who's mailbox was replaced by the time it got dark wants to sue the other family.

FOR WHAT, MOTHERFUCKERS?!?!

Second, the family who's mailbox was hit wants the charge upped from criminal mischief, which really isn't that bad, to criminal misdemeanor. And for what? Satisfaction?

IT'S A FUCKING MAILBOX, ASSHOLES!!!!!

Third: I have been told that the kid who saw it gave a statement to the effect that "A" worked the mailbox over. It's not that hard to break a mailbox off, alright? You don't need to hit it, kick it, hit it with a skateboard, and the finally throw yourself at it. All you need is a bat. Now, his lying doesn't bother me much, he's a fucking narc and I have neither respect nor concern for little bitches like him. But the thing that bothers me is that the cops have decided to take away the court case. Apparently "A" has had some trouble before, and is on probation or something. What this means is that the people who were there and are not little attention whores don't get to tell their side of the story, and "A" will be going straight to boot camp... which his family will have to pay for.

* * *

This.... this is why I hate this society. In a culture where one family sues another family, and does their best to destroy a kid's life, all over a fuckin' accident, what's left to respect? What is there for the level-headed people among us to enjoy? I mean, it's fine with me if you enjoy fucking someone else over, but there is a point where you have to fucking stop. Okay? If you're suing a poor family, you don't ever, ever get to talk about morality again. You don't get to share your opinion on gay marriage or religion or arbortion or gun control or drugs or any fucking thing. It pisses me off so much that people can just get away with this kind of thing, and that's why things have to fucking change, right the fuck NOW. Here are our options. You and I, the next generation to be in control, can sit on our asses and wait for our turn, wait for our time to fix everything we've let our parents and grandparents fuck up, or we can do something about it, now, when we still can, and before we're too busy trying to save the last peices of social security and civil rights and our own lives. I've made my decision, and that's why you're reading this. This, right now, is the only way I can try to make things change. The only way I can challenge the status quo and try to fix things. I'll be doing more and more as time moves on, of course, but right now, you all have to make a choice, as to wether you're going to just plod along, or wether you're actually doing something. Wether you're going to let things stay as they are for now, and get worse further on; or if you will do something, ANYTHING, while there's still time.

Renaissance Fair (Faire? Fayr? Fayre? WHO CARES!?!)

I'm going to the Renaissance Fair with my AP Euro class on Thursday. The bus leaves at 6.30 for some little town I've never even heard of; apparently the only thing they have going for them is the fair itself. I was a bit reluctant to go, at first. I figured, there's only three peices to go where you could possibly meet someone even geekier than myself: An anime or videogame convention, which is something I would like to attend; a Dungeons and Dragons mass tournament, which I would never go to, even to save what little soul I have left; and a Renaissance festival. I guess my list is down to two, now.

Anyway, I figured, I already paid my cash for a ticket, so I might as well spend a bit more cash. I bought a costume in a one-shot Halloween store they put up in the mall, where the gap store used to be. I like the costume, it's exactly my kind of thing.

It's a friar's robe.

Isn't that wonderful? You all know me, and know how I'm ultra-critical of religion. I'm the last person you'd ever expect to see dressed as a holy man, right? That's why the costume is so perfect! I'm working on making a large wooden cross to hang from my neck, and I might carve some bible verses into a peice of wood I can whack myself in the face with (three people got that refrence. The rest of you are scratching your heads.). I would have gotten the preist costume at Hot Topic, but it looked more like George Carlin as Cardinal Glick in Dogma than my conception of a renaissance Catholic clergyman. By the way, it looks like Hot Topic is out of the Naruto headbands. If I find out any of you have one, I'm afraid I'll have to kill you and take it off your cold, dead body.

Some Actually Random Static

This is one of the few posts you'll ever see from me that does not deal with a specific topic. I've got some random things today that I'd like to write about.

Ju57 '(4u53 1'm 80r3d, 7h15 15 wh47 "just 'cause I'm bored" |00k5 |1k3 wh3n 1 u53 7h3 |177|3 F1r3f0x 3x73n510n 1 p1(k3d up 70 7r4n5|473 17 1n70 |3375p34k. ()0p5, |00k5 |1k3 17 d1dn'7 qu173 w0rk. [Mischevious grin]

Today my dad and I went to the Southern Maid donut shop in a nearby strip mall, by Food King. We went in and bought 2 buttermilk donuts, one cinammon twist, a cinnamon roll, and a thing of milk. By the time the nice Asian lady had typed out the individual prices, I'd worked out the price plus tax in my head. I know I claim to suck at math, and I do, but I forced myself to be quick at adding up cash and taxes and such. Anyway, the total came to $4.22 in my head, and $4.64 on the register screen, but my dad started studying the menu, obviously thinking we were being cheated somehow. I kicked him in the shin and he gave up and paid. When I told him in the car that he'd just made both of us look paranoid, he started spewing shit about how the store people cheat white guys and then "hide behind the language barrier." Not only is that mean, it's also a bit racist. But I don't mind the racist bit, as much as I do the fact that this guy, who makes several thousand a year, lives in a good-size house, and has three working cars, is going to worry about being cheated out of a few cents! What in the hell is so important about 42 cents? It's not that he just doesn't want to be cheated on principle, he and mom have been cheating me and outright stealing my money for most of my life. And if the old lady was willing to take the risk of cheating a guy twice her size and his son, who's about half again as big as her, out of so little cash, seems to indicate that she needs that 42 cents. The donuts aren't too good, Shipley's are much better, but this place is just closer to us. I guess my point is that unless that little bit of cash they might be losing is all they need to keep them out of debtor's prison, just let it fucking go, okay? It's not even a dollar, it won't even buy you a soda. Let it go.

Those of you who use blogger may have noticed the ad about making money with your blog by using AdSense. I looked at it, and it looks like they don't need a credit card, and might just mail me the cash. So the question is this: You people, reading my blog, know how much I bitch about money, and the fact that I don't have any. Would you readers ( I sound like I'm writing some kind of newspaper column) mind seeing ads here? I'd feel kind of bad letting the man put stuff on my blog, but I'm getting to the point where I need some way to make money in the interim while I look for a job. So I guess it's up to you. If it's a good idea, tell me; if it's a bad idea, tell me.

Right wing, Left wing.... can I be the wishbone?

A while back I got on some emailing lists from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). They're a group that think of themselves as "our nation's guardian of liberty." While this is a good thing to guard, they seem to lean a bit more toward the liberal side of things. Right now they're acting against the Intelligent Design court case in Pennsylvania. Basically the intelligent design proponents want their theory put into science texts as an alternative to evolution. Their theory is that creation and evolution are not spontaneous, but are guided by an unseen intelligence. Apparently I'm not the only one who sees that crap as a direct gateway to religion. While there's nothing wrong with religion (it seems to keep the masses pretty well anesthetized), putting Intelligent Design into textbooks as "science" could be very misleading. It's the closest thing I've ever seen to a scientific justification of God, or it would be, except for the fact that it cannot be scientifically tested and proved. This post, however, is not about Intelligent Design, but before I leave this subject, I'd like to point you to a site designed by a guy who seems to be having lots of fun with the theory.

This post is more about me. I have some very odd political views. I don't fall on the left wing, or the right wing, but somewhere in between. I am, as this post's title suggests, the wishbone of politics.

I'm pro-choice, pro-capital punishment. (That said, the right now hates me for a baby-killer, and the left hates me for a felon-killer.) The way I see it, a woman's body is her business, and if it can be proved that you killed someone who didn't need to be killed, you should be executed. I like to call it "quick karma." Rather than getting what's coming to you in your next life, you get yours now, and don't have to suffer later as a tapeworm.

I'm against gun control. Quite frankly, I just love guns. I don't own any.... yet. But I'm going to start buying as soon as I can, maybe get a dealer's licence so I can get the good stuff. I'm thinking of one of those Russian .50-cal Dragonoff sniper rifles, maybe a nice Desert Eagle. No point in getting two, if you try to double-wield a pair of those big bastards you'll break both your wrists. And of course, like any good Hellsing fan, I'd give blood (heh) for a Casull .454.

I'm not exactly anti-religion, but I think it should be kept out of the schools and government institutions. If the kiddos want to pray on their own time, they can go ahead, but you don't let the fascist principals pray over the intercom. You really should can that moment of silence, 'cause that shit is boring as hell. I also do not want to see the ten commandments in a courthouseor on some official's desk. If I was to somehow end up in the president's office (probably in chains, if Homeland Security and the FBI ever read this blog) and saw a cross, he would be getting a bawling out from a mean, cynical punk who's still too young to vote. Other than government and schools, though, religion is fine, as long as you keep it out of my face.

I don't think anything on TV should be censored, as far as language goes. That's why they invented the fucking V-chip, for PARENTAL CONTROL and a really good gag in the South Park movie. I think that if parent's don't want their kiddies watching Chapelle's Show, then let them block it. The rest of us want to hear every shit, crap, fuck, and damn, and everything else, without and goddam beeping. (You'll notice I'm not self-editing this post.)

That's about all I can think of for now, but it's enough, I'm nobody's darling at this point. If I can think of more I'll add it later, but I have to stop everything and pretend I'm going to bed at 10:00 because my parents idolize Adolf Hitler.

Mother Nature Bitch-Slaps the Gulf Coast

So there's another f*cking hurricane, and this time instead of god's punishment for the debauchery of New Orleans (a statement I have heard made in earnest), it's apparently punishment directed at my area and most likely me in particular. So I am once again outsmarting the cosmos (which appears to be pretty stupid) by leaving for: Brenham. I'm not sure where that is, and quite frankly I don't care. I think it's somewhere between here and Stephenville.
I'd really rather stay here. Would you like to know what is in Brenham?

• The Blue Bell Ice Cream factory.

And that's it.

The relative we're staying with lives way the hell out in the country, which isn't so bad. I like the country, especially when there's a chance I might get to see a UFO or Bigfoot or something. The UFO is more likely since it's near a big lake and a nuclear power plant, which are prime spots for UFOs. Bigfoot's not so likely, he doesn't seem to hang about in Texas much. What I'm really hoping for is a Mothman sighting, which usually seems to happen in areas that are about to go through a disaster. I've already heard bits and peices about something inhuman sneaking around in the big f*cking soup bowl that was once the Big Easy, but I'm not putting much stock in that. It's probably just a baby that got flushed down the toilet when it got too big to take care of and mutated. (See why there's a hurricane headed right for my ass?)

But like I said, Mothman hangs about in areas that are about to experience a disaster, which is part of the reason I want to stay here. The other parts revolve around a few facts. First, I'm a crazy bastard who does whatever occurs to him as an amusing activity, and riding out what's probably going to end up a force 4 hurricane sounds like an adventure to me. Also, I can do a bit of looting afterward, but since I'm white, I'll just be "finding" a new TV. The second reason is that lately I've seen nothing to justify my continued existence. I've been causing nothing but trouble and recieving nothing but pain from people who I consider friends. So as far as I can tell I'm serving no purpose whatsoever and my existence shouldbe terminated or justified. But my f*cking parents are too f*cking stupid to understand that I'd be doing better here, where I know where the safe places are (the Center, the schools, and the mall are probably the sturdiest buildings in the ares, and I have access to all three one way or another.), where the stuff I might need in case of power outage is (Academy and Wal-Mart), and where I know where to hide from the government f*cks trying to enforce mandatory evacuation.

That's another thing I'm getting tired of, "mandatory" shit. "Mandatory evacuation, "Mandatory medical checkup," "mandatory vaccination," "mandatory school attendance." I don't mind school or vaccination, but I'm getting really f*cking tired of the powers that be mandating how and where I go when my property is in danger. I've got shit I can't take with us that I don't want dissappearing, thank you very much, and I know the National Guard doesn't give a damn about it. How much would you like to bet that cops weren't the only authorities jacking stuff in New Orleans?

Anyway, like I said, I don't want to leave, and while it may sound stupid, I personally think I would enjoy it, a kind of castaway with prefabricated shelter, but none of that "talking to a volleyball" crap. I'm psychopathic and sadistic, not schizophrenic. So... if I can manage, I'll stay, and if I can, I'll post, but don't count on it, 'cause my parents f*cking suck and I promise they will use MY cattleprod to get me into the car. Otherwise, you may not hear from me for a good long time, but don't worry about me. I'm like cockroaches, pushers, and pimps; you can't get rid of me without a hell of a fight. And hurricanes, Mother Nature, and the cosmos itself are going to be hard put to wipe me out.

Good luck to anyone who's evacuating. If you need me for anything, you can reach me with a comment, and I'll check tomorrow morning before we leave. Most of you know my phone number, though.

The List, Episode II

This is the second edition of my list of people who should be cloned in both body and mind, so that the world may partake of their wisdom (or whatever) after their death. This edition of the list is going to be based on the greatest thinkers, writers, etc, of both our time and eras past.

• Martin Luther
• Dante Alighieri
• Stephen Hawking (thanks Debra)
• Edgar Allen Poe
• Larry and Andy Wachowski (sorry, folks, but bear in mind that The Matrix is the only fandom I allow myself.)
• John Locke
• Thomas Paine
• Voltaire
• Plato
• Socrates
• Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
  
• Scott Adams (Dilbert)
• Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
  

That's really all I can think of for now. I guess Sunday before noon isn't a good time to make intelligent posts.

Some of you may have noticed that nearly two months have gone by since the first edition of the List, and I stated that I would try to put out a new one every 30 or so days. I'm afraid I'm going to have to change that to the far more rigorous schedule of "whenever I f*cking feel like it."

As always, any names you would like me to add to the list, post it in a comment. The next edition, which I expect to be fairly long, is going to be of Literary character that should be brought to life as soon as possible. If you have something for that list, post it in the comment too. Bear in mind that though I read more than anyone else I know, I may not know the character, and it may or may not end up on the list. By literary characters I mean movie and tv show characters, characters from novels, short stories, etc, and, yes, anime and manga.

What's in this man?

School started today. I was wandering about the cafeteria, and someone I vaguely know accosted me to inform me that they had run across my blog. Thinking they had found someone with the same name as me (no, Dark Avatar is not my real name), I asked for a URL. Surprisingly they rattled off the correct address. They then started asking why it was so mean-spirited. Now, personally I've never thought of it as being mean, but I went back through it, and it is rather critical of...well, of most of the world. So I'd like to issue a few disclaimers and apolgies before new readers who don't actually know me start to get the wrong idea.

As some religious people are reading this, I'd like to issue a general apology for my constant dislike of religion, and inform you that I am now running sound at my parents' church. I am still an agnostic trending toward atheism, but I am going to try to cut back on the anti-christ stuff.

I'm also very, verry critical of the government, though I've been kind of easy on them lately. They're messing themselves up enough that most people are able to see it now, so they really don't need my help at this time. BUT....I'm not going to apologize for it, and when the time comes, I will be right back at the forefront of government bashing.

From time to time I do bits about music, usually criticizing modern music. Lately I've been watching MTV and VH1 late at night, when they actually play music videos, and some of it is less annoying than the rest. One band, My Chemical Romance, is rather interesting, but they are uncomfortably close to emo. Somewhere between Goth and Cut-Myself-And-Cry. Also, I've always found funny rap songs enjoyable. I'm not such a crotchety old man in the music world as I seem.

You'll notice I curse alot, and of course there's the "nasty joke" post. I've tried to go back and self-edit, but it's a big job. Also, asteriks don't carry as much punch as the actual word. It's like watching George Carlin do his act with a censor bleeping it out. It's still funny and it still has impact, but something's missing. My language among my friends varies.... I'm much more polite when talking to women, of course, and when my language needs to be moderated, it will be. If I hurt myself, or something bad is going on, then all bets are off and you will hear a stream of expletives that could cause a nasty fire with the right fuel-air mixture.

I seem very cynical. Truth is, I am. I may also seem to not care about the people around me, but that is not the way I am. I am very protective of my friends, and will in fact defend people I don't know or dislike if I feel that they are being attacked in a manner that I cannot allow.
I'm rarely happy with my family; we aren't the kind of people who get along without any trouble. But I do love my family, despite the fact that I complain about them constantly.

Hmm....I think that's about it for now. At least, that's all I can think of. If anything else comes up, I may or may not make an issue of it. Oh, by the way, I'm going to try to update my list of people who should be cloned on the 30th day of every month. If the month does not have at least 30 days, I'll do it on the last day of the month. Any names to be added to the list from an outside contributor will have appropriate credits. I may not use a name, and if so, I may or may not explain why, but don't bet on it. Anyone is welcome to add to my list, but please do it in one of the posts of the list, rather than just any post you come across. It's not that hard to find the post when you think of a name.

The List

So, last time I said I was a bit sick, which turned out to be an understatement, as I just got out of the hospital after a bout with pneumonia. Not fun, but not the subject of this post, just what led to it. I've been reading a biography of Douglas Adams, who wrote The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, along with loads of other excellent stuff, of course, including several episodes of Doctor Who. (By the way, I didn't know much about that show, but now I'm going to be looking for episodes online.) But reading about him has just cemented an idea I've had for a long damn time. It goes like this: I know it is currently possible to clone someone's body, but there is no way to give the clone the same personality as the original. But... and this is what happens when I suspend all logic and get deep into fantasyland.... suppose we could imbue the mind of the original, the personality, into the clone body? Who should be cloned first? I'm going to start the list here, and if you have a name to add, please do it. I'd love to hear it. Here goes (by the way, these are in no particular order):

Douglas Adams
John Lennon
George Harrison
John F. Kennedy
Che Guevara
Nicollo Machiavelli
Plato
Ghandi
Christ (just becasue I don't think he was god, doesn't mean he didn't exist. There's more proof of his existance than there is for Julius Ceasar.)
Albert Einstein
Winston Churchill
Thomas Jefferson
Issac Asimov (who I just found out died of AIDS from an infected transfusion. Stupid doctor syndrome)


So, that's the list for now. I'll try to add at least one name to it in updates every, oh, let's say every month, and see if I can stick to it. And if you have a name that needs to be on the list, leave a comment, please.

I'm a bit sick today....bloody damn strep throat. At least, the lady doc told me I'm sick, but I feel pretty good. But, as I said, I'm supposedly a bit sick, so you'll forgive me for watching a news show other than the Daily Show. I was watching the Houston news, and after they reported four or five gruesome and/or violent deaths, they promoed this news spot they were doing later, about wether a Houston law firm had gone too far. Apparently (and I'm not sick enough to sit through the whole thing) the firm convinced a bunch of healthy people they were sick to turn a profit. Now, I personally think they whole question of "business ethics"is pretty much dead. I mean, even the church is getting a little bit blurry. And yeah, before you start to whine about how the church i non-profit, I say to you, bullSHIT. Have you ever seen any real effect of all the money they've gotten from you every week? Other than a bigger goddam church? I rest my case. Oh, and all the mission pictures? Yeah. Fake.

Oops. Sorry, I went off on one of my secular tirades again. I apologize to all of the two religious people who read this stuff.

Anyway, I don't think the "making clients think they're sick" thing is going too far. In fact, I think it's called "Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy."You want to know what I think is going too far? ( I really hope so, because everything up to this point has been me trying to think of how to say the following.) I think "going too far" is those goddam bloody P.O.S. commercials you have to sit through because they like to run them simultaneously on the only two channels with anything good to watch. I'm talking mainly here about firms that are NOT certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. I'm not saying they aren't good lawyers; they might be; I'm also not saying they aren't good people; I don't know them. What I am saying is that the commercials are annoying as HELL. I mean, really, I don't ever see, say, the same Disney commercial twice during the same show. And now what I think about it, you really can't say the commercials "go too far." The firms paid to have the commercials made; they paid to run them. Their money is going to support my TV; I really shouldn't complain. Besides, there are loads of commercials that piss me off, and lawyer commercials are certainly not the worst of all... remember how i was talking about disney earlier? Yeah, you probably get a rant about them next time. Now that they're trying to steal anime, too.....

The Beauty of Poetry

So I'm almost done with the classroom part of driver's ed, and, as usual, I'm finishing assignments long before anyone else....which gives me time to read the poetry past students have added to the textbooks. This was the first one I found:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up and throw me down
And show how much you like me

Lovely little bit of prose, isn't it? I find it interesting how most graffiti poetry ends up in something at least resmebling the quatrain form:

Weed, Speed, Rock 'n' Roll,
Sex, Drugs, Birth Control
Life's a bitch and then you die
So f**k the world, let's all get high

Also, an adult could learn a lot about the way teen love works, simply by reading some of these poems. Hell....I'm learning things I didn't know, and I'm a teen. I had no idea love was so violent:

I love her, oh yes I do
She's for me and not for you
But if by chance you take my place
I'll take my fist and smash your face!

Of course, there are other sources of evil poetry...such as the people I talk to on MSN. And, no, I'm not giving names.

Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
F**k a virgin
Not a slut.

Now, in case the text of the following poems doesn't tip you off, they're from a woman's point of view, not mine. Some more teen love:

Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his d**k, the one I sucked
Bless the bed, in which we f**ked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the sh*t I'd be in.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak D**k...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!

Of course, there are some poems that get a bit...explicit... such as this one. Believe it or not, this one actually set me back a bit:

Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
F**k me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!


At any rate... I will be searching for more poetry and wittiness to amuse myself and you. Wish me luck! Oh, and if you have any poetry to add, feel free to do so.

Lost in a Hollywood World

I know this is a really fast new post, my last one was on Sunday, but I found a bunch of stuff I wrote about the Matrix films shortly after I started the blog, then promptly forgot about, so here they are.
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Thoughts on the Matrix

The Matrix doesn’t seem so bad from an objective point of view. Most of the people inside seem to feel okay, most of the time. So, why rebel against it? Sure, there are people in there who were dealt a bad card, like getting AIDS, being killed or dying early, facing starvation, etc., but there will always be suffering for some part of the human race. Like Agent Smith says, we seem to need misery to define ourselves.
The energy required to keep so many human bodies alive and well fed must outweigh the energy and heat provided by the bodies, even combined with “a form of fusion,” so why keep us alive at all? As far as I can tell, we aren’t that good of an energy source. If the machines and A.I. life forms are so hostile to humans, why was the original Matrix designed to b a paradise? Within the Matrix one is free to engage in whatever activity his or her status and personality command. If you can see past the Matrix, you can slow time, stop p bullets, fly, and so on; and leaving the Matrix to become a Zion rebel may not be the only way to see past it. After all, a computer system is easier to infiltrate if the hacker has access to it to begin with. Once you understand that there is no spoon, or whatever, it becomes easy to take control of the nonexistent whatever.
Besides, few people will wish to abandon the satisfactory near-utopia of the false 1999 for the hell we made of the real world. I personally would be likely to become a rebel, since that’s the way I am, but many of the people I know would simply follow the flow of the world they are accustomed to—the world of the Matrix.

Questions About the Matrix

Philosophical
--Is Neo programmed? I mean, if Smith can copy himself into a body, and he is a program, why can’t a program be superimposed onto a mind at birth and totally supplant the original person?
--Do the Smiths have a hive-mind?
--Why are there so many Biblical paralells?
--Why is Neo's death pose a crucifix?
--When the One dies, is a new one born immediately, or is there a lag?
--Is every new version of the One a reincarnation of the last version?

Technical
--How do hovercraft propulsion systems work, and why do the sentinels have no apparent propulsion systems?
--Why do the agents use bullets? Why not better weapons than guns?
--Where can I find technical manuals for all the machine technology?
--How does Smith copy himself onto Bane? For that matter, how does he copy himself at all?
--Did he copy himself onto all inhabitants of the Matrix, or just the one city?
--How does Sati "make" the sky for Neo, and what is her purpose as a program?
--How do operators, and anyone else in general, read the Matrix code, and how does Neo see it in 3D?
--Where did the ships (Nebuchadnezzar, Logos, Hammer) come from?
--Why don't Agents have perfect aim?
--Why can't Trinity fight Agents as well as Morpheus and Neo?
--Is there only one machine city? One mainframe? One source?

Philosophical and Technical
--How does Neo see in the real world after he is blinded, and exactly what is he seeing?
--Why does Neo see the overwritten Bane as wearing sunglasses? Is it just to show that he knows Smith has copied himself into Bane's body?
--If 'dead' in the Matrix is dead in the real world, why do the Zion rebels kill people (security guards, soldiers, cops) so freely?
--What happened to the original Smith?
--Did Smith copy onto animals as well as people?
--Why and when will we "see him [Neo] again?"
--Did the machines rebuild Zion the last six times it was destroyed?

Miscellaneous
--Why 1999? Peak of our civilization my ass! I'd like to think we're going to do better than we did in 1999.

The Math of the Matrix

(NOTE: All numbers not actually related in the films are conservative estimates and are in fact reduced from the original estimates I made while watching the films.)

--Assume 7 versions of the one, including Neo, as per the history of the Matrix as related by the Architect .
--Assume 100 years for each version to finish, as per the history of Zion as related by Morpheus.
--Assume 50 years for the early failures mentioned by Smith during his interrogation of Morpheus.
--Assume 10 years of war after the beginning of the machine rebellion.
--Assume 40 years of lead up to war after the creation of AI.

(100*7)+50+10+40=800 years

Morpheus says that while Neo believes it to be the year 1999, it is closer to 2199. So,

2199-800=1399

So, either we have been living in the Matrix since the Dark ages (unlikely), or the Wachowski brothers didn't check their math.

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So, there you have it. I went on a kick sort of like this--philosophy, history, technology, and all--the first time I saw Star Wars and Star Trek too. I hope some of you might have something to add or be able to clear things up for me. Also, for those who know me personally, I know it seems really out of character for me to voluntarily engage in mathematical pursuits, but you also know how I can be when I get off on some philosophical end-run.

The Good, The Bad, and.....WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

First off, the good. It's kind of hard to think of anything good. I got Enter The Matrix the other day. Everyone says it's a crappy game, but I really love it. I saw Jackass:The Movie on Comedy Central last night, uncut. It was wonderful! Wasabi snooters, golf course air horns......great stuff. I even pulled a bit of a stunt myself. I had a sheet stuffed in my mouth to keep from laughing so hard that my parents woke up and bitched, and I swallowed about 6 inches of the corner. I'm pretty excited about the new season of Reno 911, and I expect it to be pretty good. Comedy Central needs to redeem itself after the last season of South Park tanked.

The bad: I'm not saying this is bad in and of itself, but Time Warner cable is now offering a channel geared toward homosexuals. They appear to be trying to extend their gay and lesbian demograpic. Now, like I said, the fact that they are offering a gay channel is not bad. What's bad is that the assholes of the world are going to give them shit for it. they've only been advvertising this channel for a couple days, and already my parents are talking about how it's "evil against the kingdom of god." You want to know what would really be evil against god, if he exists? CHRISITAN FUNDAMENTALISTS. Specifically the ones who say things like my parents.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!: Jacko got off, and this time, his getting off didn't directly involve a young boy. He was found innocent by a jury of his "peers" in California. WHAT THE FUCK!? The man is a flaming nutcase! He molested little boys, okay? I'm a pretty oblivious guy, and even I picked up on that. And he's not the king of pop anymore, got it? He's the king of the freakshow. Skin disease my cracker ass. A skin disease doesn't make your nose look like your sister's, jackass. Go hide in your little oubliette and leave the kids alone. And what was wrong with the bloody damn jury? It was the same as in the OJ case! Overwhelming evidence that the man in question comitted the crime, and the jury has some kind of total brain-fart and calls him innocent! I'm starting to think itmight not be a bad idea for California to break off and float away into the Pacific, where we can safely nuke the fuck out of it.

A Hero I Can Support

Wow. Holy shit.

I guess the truth IS out there.

So it would appear we finally know who Deep Throat really is. http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/05/31/deep.throat/index.html

See, this is the kind of thing I pay attention to. While the rest of you are obsessing over Michael Jackson (child-molesting freak), and Lords of Dogtown (lowbrow loser movie), and other such crap, I'm noticing the fact that the true identity of one of the most important figures in the Watergate scandal is finally know to the public. Of course, most of you probably think that "deep throat" is just something to do with a BJ.

Anyway, for those of you too lazy to click on a goddam link, Deep Throat was the primary source for the Washington Post reporters who busted the Watergate scandal wide open. Since he was obviously well inside the scandal, his identity was kept a secret, and kept very well. But now he has revealed himself to be W. Mark Felt, who at the time he was sharing information with Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, was the NUMBER TWO MAN AT THE FBI.

Did you read that properly? That was the FBI. The FEDERAL Bureau of Investigation. That means that Felt was directly reporting to the man who reported to Nixon for the entire Bureau (their HQ in Washington is very nice, by the way. I quite enjoyed the tour.). If he had been found out he basically would have been, for lack of a more descriptive word, FUCKED. Here is an American hero I can support, someone who goes against the entire executive branch of the United States government. This man was, at the time, proabably the man most hated and wanted by the most powerful man in the world. You talk about "living in fear".... bin Laden isn't in the US, or so the govt. hopes. People have been searching for Deep Throat for almost 30 years. That has got to be a BITCH as far as stress goes.

But anyway.... all respect to W. Mark Felt. Anyone who takes that much risk, and helps bring down one of the most corrupted men in one of the most corruptible positions in the world...who happens to be his BOSS....is deserving of respect from anyone you can name.

"Jesus, save us from your followers."

I know this is going to piss off a lot of christians--hell, the TITLE of the post is going to piss them off--but I heard some stuff last weekend that made me think, so you get to hear about it.

I was at the Baylor afternoon commencement this weekend, to see a friend graduate, and the President of the university, Robert Sloan, gave a speech. You can probably find a transcript on the internet, but I didn't look. The basic gist of the speech was that graduates had to be careful because society is downplaying Christianity (remember, Baylor is a baptist university).

The powers that be seem to forget that everything works on a cycle, including religion.

In the late 1700's, the Washington/Jefferson/Franklin era, most of the well-known players in American histroy were atheists. Any mention of "god: in the constitution is coincidental and probably just a turn of phrase. Society isn't downplaying anything any more than it has to to keep the cycle going. So there's no reason for the christians to worry--they'll cycle back.

The other thing they're screwing up is religious relations. While the Catholics and Protestants aren't killing each other as much as they used to---except in Ireland, of course--they've decided to start a second series of Crusades. This time, instead of "Let us go forth and free the Holy City of Jerusalem from the evil of the Muslim savages," the rallying cry is "War On Terror!," and it's coming from the mouth of one of the dumbest men ever elected to the White House. Can we get rid of him before he somehow pulls a Palpatine? Please? We don't need to kill people for oil, we can fricking buy it, or buy the oil wells, or something. Also, for every person we kill in the middle east, 10 people strap TNT to themselves and get on a bus for a rather short ride. GIVE UP. It's way past time to get the hell out of Iraq, okay?

Another Steaming Pile of Bulls**t

So, at our school we have a bunch of pointless rules. The one that pisses me off the most doesn't actually concern me (yet). They have this bullshit rule that a guy's hair can't be long, and I really don't understand. If the fake lesbians can basically walk around with their heads shaved, which does not look "professional, " by the way, then why can't the metal heads wear their hair long?

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And that's another thing that pisses me off, people who act like homosexuals for attention. (Notice I'm not putting up names, so let's not whine about how I'm a homophobe, okay?) I have no problem with actual gay people; they're here, they're queer, I got used to it. But the people who go around acting gay because they think it's "in" or "cool" or whatever you kids are saying nowadays.......yeah. Those are the kind of people I would like to bash.
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I think they need to get rid of grades. Not the GPA, but all grades. They way I see it, grades are only a way of separating the good students who have been successfully brainwashed from the students who figured out that the school system is bullshit. NHS, SNHS, scholarships.....all bullshit. Every student should have an equal chance at everything. Some of you might say that this little bit is because my grades are so bad, but I've held this to be true since elementary school, when I was still kicking the shit out of everybody, grade-wise.

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So who the hell invented dress clothes? Kakhi pants, button-down, collared shirts......some of the most uncomfortable shit on earth. Why do we dress up in stuff that feels bad? Why can't I wear blue jeans and a tshirt to my friend's graduation?

"Well, that's not how you dress for a graduation!"

According to whom? Who chooses what I wear to which function? Is it a etiqutte issue? Screw that scheisse. I choose how I dress, not Ms. Manners. Even I have limits to my evil. I won't wear a mean or inappropriate shirt if that's the problem.

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As far as graduation goes, I'm dead set on not going to mine. It's just a bunch of pointless pomp and circumstance. But just because I won't be there physically, doesn't mean I won't have a presence there. I'll have to leave a calling card......heh heh heh.

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So that's the kind of stuff that's on my mind on a regular basis; disjointed, illogical, and absolutely insane. But I have to admit, I really enjoy spending time in my own head.

Democracy Is Not Always Decent

While a true democracy (which we do NOT have) may be the best way to rule a nation, democratic systems are not always on the level. So many people in this nation are so convinced that the government is keeping them safe from the terrorists and Communists that they refuse to see anything bad about it.

They refuse to recognize the fact that we do not directly elect our leader. Every voter could cast a ballot for candidate A in 2008, and a properly bribed electoral college could still simply elect candidate B.

They refuse to recognize the fact that this bullshit oil war is spawning more terrorists than we have ever killed. In fact, they reufse to recognize that it IS a bullshit oil war.

They refuse to recognize that the government has its claws in everything. News and print media, publishing of all types, the internet, just about anything you can think of, the government is likely to have a heavy hand in it. I don't think they are, but I would not be too surprised if the NSA has a special division created to read dissenting blogs.

They refuse to recognize that Area 51 does exist, that we do not know what is contained there, and that people who try to find out have disappeared.

They refuse to accept the fact that there is almost no way in hell that Oswald killed Kennedy, and refuse to do any reading whatsoever on the subject besides nice, clean, government-sanctioned BULLSHIT.

And finally, they refuse to accept any of the above, because their parents, teachers, preists or pastors, and whatever media they commonly use for information, have brainwashed the living crap out of them. They refuse to take off their rose-colored glasses and see the blood-red dark side of the government, and they will be the first ones to speak up in favor when Congress and the president roll us right into full-on fascism.

With all due respect for them, they disgust me.