This is a blog created by a very opinionated guy. I hope you understand 'opinionated,' because that's all the warning you get. So, just remember, if something on this blog offends you, just LEAVE.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The List

So, last time I said I was a bit sick, which turned out to be an understatement, as I just got out of the hospital after a bout with pneumonia. Not fun, but not the subject of this post, just what led to it. I've been reading a biography of Douglas Adams, who wrote The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, along with loads of other excellent stuff, of course, including several episodes of Doctor Who. (By the way, I didn't know much about that show, but now I'm going to be looking for episodes online.) But reading about him has just cemented an idea I've had for a long damn time. It goes like this: I know it is currently possible to clone someone's body, but there is no way to give the clone the same personality as the original. But... and this is what happens when I suspend all logic and get deep into fantasyland.... suppose we could imbue the mind of the original, the personality, into the clone body? Who should be cloned first? I'm going to start the list here, and if you have a name to add, please do it. I'd love to hear it. Here goes (by the way, these are in no particular order):

Douglas Adams
John Lennon
George Harrison
John F. Kennedy
Che Guevara
Nicollo Machiavelli
Plato
Ghandi
Christ (just becasue I don't think he was god, doesn't mean he didn't exist. There's more proof of his existance than there is for Julius Ceasar.)
Albert Einstein
Winston Churchill
Thomas Jefferson
Issac Asimov (who I just found out died of AIDS from an infected transfusion. Stupid doctor syndrome)


So, that's the list for now. I'll try to add at least one name to it in updates every, oh, let's say every month, and see if I can stick to it. And if you have a name that needs to be on the list, leave a comment, please.

Monday, July 25, 2005

I'm a bit sick today....bloody damn strep throat. At least, the lady doc told me I'm sick, but I feel pretty good. But, as I said, I'm supposedly a bit sick, so you'll forgive me for watching a news show other than the Daily Show. I was watching the Houston news, and after they reported four or five gruesome and/or violent deaths, they promoed this news spot they were doing later, about wether a Houston law firm had gone too far. Apparently (and I'm not sick enough to sit through the whole thing) the firm convinced a bunch of healthy people they were sick to turn a profit. Now, I personally think they whole question of "business ethics"is pretty much dead. I mean, even the church is getting a little bit blurry. And yeah, before you start to whine about how the church i non-profit, I say to you, bullSHIT. Have you ever seen any real effect of all the money they've gotten from you every week? Other than a bigger goddam church? I rest my case. Oh, and all the mission pictures? Yeah. Fake.

Oops. Sorry, I went off on one of my secular tirades again. I apologize to all of the two religious people who read this stuff.

Anyway, I don't think the "making clients think they're sick" thing is going too far. In fact, I think it's called "Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy."You want to know what I think is going too far? ( I really hope so, because everything up to this point has been me trying to think of how to say the following.) I think "going too far" is those goddam bloody P.O.S. commercials you have to sit through because they like to run them simultaneously on the only two channels with anything good to watch. I'm talking mainly here about firms that are NOT certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. I'm not saying they aren't good lawyers; they might be; I'm also not saying they aren't good people; I don't know them. What I am saying is that the commercials are annoying as HELL. I mean, really, I don't ever see, say, the same Disney commercial twice during the same show. And now what I think about it, you really can't say the commercials "go too far." The firms paid to have the commercials made; they paid to run them. Their money is going to support my TV; I really shouldn't complain. Besides, there are loads of commercials that piss me off, and lawyer commercials are certainly not the worst of all... remember how i was talking about disney earlier? Yeah, you probably get a rant about them next time. Now that they're trying to steal anime, too.....

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Beauty of Poetry

So I'm almost done with the classroom part of driver's ed, and, as usual, I'm finishing assignments long before anyone else....which gives me time to read the poetry past students have added to the textbooks. This was the first one I found:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up and throw me down
And show how much you like me

Lovely little bit of prose, isn't it? I find it interesting how most graffiti poetry ends up in something at least resmebling the quatrain form:

Weed, Speed, Rock 'n' Roll,
Sex, Drugs, Birth Control
Life's a bitch and then you die
So f**k the world, let's all get high

Also, an adult could learn a lot about the way teen love works, simply by reading some of these poems. Hell....I'm learning things I didn't know, and I'm a teen. I had no idea love was so violent:

I love her, oh yes I do
She's for me and not for you
But if by chance you take my place
I'll take my fist and smash your face!

Of course, there are other sources of evil poetry...such as the people I talk to on MSN. And, no, I'm not giving names.

Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
F**k a virgin
Not a slut.

Now, in case the text of the following poems doesn't tip you off, they're from a woman's point of view, not mine. Some more teen love:

Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his d**k, the one I sucked
Bless the bed, in which we f**ked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the sh*t I'd be in.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak D**k...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!

Of course, there are some poems that get a bit...explicit... such as this one. Believe it or not, this one actually set me back a bit:

Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
F**k me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!


At any rate... I will be searching for more poetry and wittiness to amuse myself and you. Wish me luck! Oh, and if you have any poetry to add, feel free to do so.