Someone Else's Thoughts on Religion

I thought you all might enjoy this a little more than my usual rabid raging rants and raves. If you should know the person, they don't have a hyperlink. If they don't have a hyperlink and you need one, crack a fuckin' book.

I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature.....Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make half the world fools and half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the world.
-Jefferson

All the heretics I have known have been virtuous men.
-Franklin

We have now, it Seems a National Bible Society, to propagate King James's Bible, through all Nations. Would it not be better to apply these pious SubScriptions, to purify Christendom from the Corruptions of Christianity; than to propagate those Corruptions in Europe Asia, Africa and America!
-John Adams

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-Einstein

Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a monotheism can believe anything just give him time to rationalize it. Forgive me for being blunt.
-Robert Heinlen

I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind — that its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
-HL Mencken

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
-Susan B. Anthony

If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.
-Spider Robinson

In the long run, nothing can withstand reason and experience, and the contradiction religion offers to both is palpable.
-Sigmund Freud

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages.
-Richard Lederer

Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.
-HL Mencken again

Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.
-Steve Weinberg

The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window.
-Stephen King

Religion easily—has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
-Someone WORTHY of worship and praise

Back in Form

I... am irritated. I know this probably doesn't come as a surprise to most of you, I'm annoyed most of the time, but today I have some REALLY good targets. Here's the first one, an article I found online from a headline I saw in today's local paper:

Teens Defend Polygamist Families at Rally in Utah

have you read it? good. I'd like to point out one bit that I particularly like.

It also is historic...to bring the youth together in a united way...They don't generally mingle.

You know why they don't generally mingle? Probably conversations with people from the outside, like this one:

"So where does your dad work?"
"First State Bank."
"And your mom?"
"Costco, the bank, the elementary school, the car dealership out by the highway, and Sonic."
"Wow, that's a lot of jobs for one lady."
"No, no, they each have one job."
*akward silence*

You know, I don't usually do this, but I'm gonna come right out and say, I think polygamy is just honestly fucked-up. I usually try to look at things from both sides, but in this case, fuck that all to hell. It's a good way to have some really twisted kids, kids with minds that make me look like Ghandi. How the hell did the first mormons get it in their heads that this was okay? I'm guessing one of Joseph Smith's big spenders had a couple of girlfriends right there at the beginning:

"Hey, Joe, how would you people like a new church?"
"Um, that'd be nice."
"Great, check's in the mail. Oh, and by the way, I have this... difficulty..."
*whisper whisper whisper*
"See the problem there, Joey boy?"
"Yeah. Um... ah... as of now, polygamy is okay with me and god!"
"Gee, thanks! Whatever brought that on?"

You know what polygamy is, right? It's a harem by another name. I know that I could get challenged pretty well on that statement, but I'm not wrong. They feel that they can get away with it because they claim it as a religious belief. So here we go.

I'd like to announce the founding of the Church of Jesus Christ, What the Fuck? The basic tenet of the church is that we don't have any rules, or buildings, or preachers, or even a real "bible." We only have one belief:

We have the right to beat the living hell out of anyone we percieve as acting totallty dumb-stupid.

Now, you all know the above is bullshit. If I ever found a church, I promise you, it will only be to make money for myself (which by the way is where I think the idea of "offerings to god" and "tithes" came from. The way I see it? throw the cash up in the air, and God'll take what he needs.). But by the rationale of these polygamists, I should be able to go beat the tar out of... well, most of the rest of the planet... because it's what I believe to be right. You know what headline I wanna see?

"Someone with an actual brain beats the living hell out of teens at polygamist rally."

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