So.
Colbert Report.
Stephen said he'd give five bucks to the first person who changed the wikipedia article on reality to "Reality has become a commodity."
I headed right over to check.
I refreshed three times before it changed.
Took less than ten seconds from the MOMENT he said it.
It's back to normal now.
Who the FUCK is hanging around wikipedia THAT MUCH?!?
Edit: They got the article for David Bowie's Reality album, too. Bastardos.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Boredom
| You Belong in Dublin |
 Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town. |
| You Are 84% Grown Up, 16% Kid |
 Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist! |
I've had several therapists, does that count? heh. Therapist. TheRapist. The Rapist. Awesome.
| Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius |
 You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you. Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you. You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle. Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader |
Who's surprised at THAT one?
Look, a distraction!
| You Are 64% Cynical |
 You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results. You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself. |
No I'm not.
You Are 59% Indie |
 You're pretty indie, but you don't make a fuss letting everyone know. You just do what you like. You enjoy many types of things - from trendy to bizarre. |
Just for the record, there's no such thing as "indie music." That slightly different sound that people call "indie?" I call "too fucking cheap to do a few more gigs and buy some good equipment." Also, just 'cause you're not on a label, does not make you good. In fact, getting rejected by a company, often means you suck out loud. People who brag about the little no-name bands they listen to, or look down on other people who listen to mainstream music, are miserable dicks.
| You're Totally Sarcastic |
 You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad. |
Yes, but I DO try to be funny while I'm verbally skewering an idiot.
| You're An Angry Drunk |
 Ever wake up with sore knuckles and a black eye? Thought so. |
Which is why I don't drink around people. I usually end up with less people to drink around.
| Your Hidden Talent |
 You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices. |
That one actually surprised me a bit.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Where'd it all go?
When did all the magic go out of the world? And I don't mean alchemy or spells or that sort of thing. I mean the adventure, the fun, the strange weirdness and bad craziness that made the world so exciting.
There used to be places left to explore, that anyone could get to. I mean, if you really wanted to, you could go explore the rainforest, or the mountain ranges. It was all unmapped, and even if someone had explored it before you usually ran across their dessicated corpse at some point, so it was all good. There was still treasure at the end of the trek, and while it might not make you rich or famous, it still meant something to you, right?
Now, it's all mapped. GPS devices can get you directions to the chemist's, or out of the deepest wilds. Survival has become a sport, and you can get a cellphone signal anywhere on the planet. In fact at this point I'm pretty sure you could buy dehydrated water online with your cellphone and have it delivered to you in the middle of the desert.
There used to be magical things in the world. Every strange bottle contained a djinn, or a letter from one of the aforementioned dessicated corpses. There were still creatures that lurked at the edges of perception, silently threatening to drag you away from reality. Cthulul still slept in R'lyeh and Count Dracula would happily suck you down like a milkshake.
Cthulu's corpse is rotting away into webcomics and horror film chic, Dracula's a bisexual frenchman. Those creatures get medicated away into nothingness, hallucinations, stress-induced sillyness. No one even sends letters anymore, god, how many people still remember their own address? And it seems to me that the only bottles I touch anymore either contain something poisonous, or intoxicating.
There used to be rebels in the world. There used to be solitary men who would stand before entire nations and say "Hey. You. Sod off, alright?" There used to be warriors, people who would wade into enemy lines and lay waste. There were men who fought gallantly, honored their enemy, and only killed him because he didn't want to but by god he HAD to. In the old days, if you swore loyalty to someone, it stuck, and it wasn't "good business sense" to jump ship and leave your captain behind.
Now the "rebels" are nothing more than punks with anarchy symbol tattoos. Now we can't even get hundreds of people to protest anything with meaning. There are no warriors anymore, not when you can kill millions of people from thousands of miles away by hitting a few buttons. And gallantry, chivalry, honor? Please. Not even among theives, now. And somehow, Machiavelli's ghost has possessed the business world.
So what the hell happened to all that? Did science kill it? Did we just grow out of our myths and legends? Did our little Industrial Revolutions expansionary orgy finally prove to us that, yeah, we're number one? Did the last century finally see the end of honor and respect, subjugated under the weight of enforced morality and fear of an honest death?
Or am I just finally going mad?
There used to be places left to explore, that anyone could get to. I mean, if you really wanted to, you could go explore the rainforest, or the mountain ranges. It was all unmapped, and even if someone had explored it before you usually ran across their dessicated corpse at some point, so it was all good. There was still treasure at the end of the trek, and while it might not make you rich or famous, it still meant something to you, right?
Now, it's all mapped. GPS devices can get you directions to the chemist's, or out of the deepest wilds. Survival has become a sport, and you can get a cellphone signal anywhere on the planet. In fact at this point I'm pretty sure you could buy dehydrated water online with your cellphone and have it delivered to you in the middle of the desert.
There used to be magical things in the world. Every strange bottle contained a djinn, or a letter from one of the aforementioned dessicated corpses. There were still creatures that lurked at the edges of perception, silently threatening to drag you away from reality. Cthulul still slept in R'lyeh and Count Dracula would happily suck you down like a milkshake.
Cthulu's corpse is rotting away into webcomics and horror film chic, Dracula's a bisexual frenchman. Those creatures get medicated away into nothingness, hallucinations, stress-induced sillyness. No one even sends letters anymore, god, how many people still remember their own address? And it seems to me that the only bottles I touch anymore either contain something poisonous, or intoxicating.
There used to be rebels in the world. There used to be solitary men who would stand before entire nations and say "Hey. You. Sod off, alright?" There used to be warriors, people who would wade into enemy lines and lay waste. There were men who fought gallantly, honored their enemy, and only killed him because he didn't want to but by god he HAD to. In the old days, if you swore loyalty to someone, it stuck, and it wasn't "good business sense" to jump ship and leave your captain behind.
Now the "rebels" are nothing more than punks with anarchy symbol tattoos. Now we can't even get hundreds of people to protest anything with meaning. There are no warriors anymore, not when you can kill millions of people from thousands of miles away by hitting a few buttons. And gallantry, chivalry, honor? Please. Not even among theives, now. And somehow, Machiavelli's ghost has possessed the business world.
So what the hell happened to all that? Did science kill it? Did we just grow out of our myths and legends? Did our little Industrial Revolutions expansionary orgy finally prove to us that, yeah, we're number one? Did the last century finally see the end of honor and respect, subjugated under the weight of enforced morality and fear of an honest death?
Or am I just finally going mad?
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