God... DAMMIT....

I know I usually don't do this, but I'm gonna start this out with a little disclaimer. I don't have any beef with Jews or Muslims; you guys get enough shit from the white man and his churches and don't need me piling on top of that, y'know? My problem is with Christians, and religion in general. And yeah, it's gonna look like I'm baggin' on everybody, but don't get mad about this shit. Some of this has been simmering for a long time and it's time to let it out. If you have something, anything to say, go on and put it in a comment. I've had a dry spell on those lately.

So.

Poking around wikipedia. Reading about the ViewAskewniverse and ran across the article on the Buddy Christ.

I'm bored and can't sleep, so I click on the link to Jesus. Not Buddy Christ or pop-culture Jesus, just straight-up Jesus on the rocks. Or the cross, whatever.

I'm looking at the contents and I see "Islamic Views on Jesus." I've never been quite clear on this, so I click on it, and guess what I find? THIS:

In Islam, Jesus (known as Isa in Arabic: عيسى), is considered one of God's
most-beloved and important prophets and the Messiah.

This, naturally, boggles my little mind. So, thinking this is a good example of why my dad says Wiki is unreliable (mainly, people like to fuck with other people's heads), I decide to click on the link to an article dealing entirely with that topic. Here, I find THIS:

Islam holds Jesus (Arabic: عيسى‎ `Īsā) to have been a messenger and a prophet of God and the Messiah.

So, judging by this, I continue under the assumption that, no, I have not fallen victim to yet another cosmic joke. He's the Messiah for Muslims ANNND Christians? Could that mean... they're on the SAME SIDE?! I wonder....

Working on a hunch, I decide to look up Abraham. There's an old theory I have, that is borne out by the following statement:

Abraham (Hebrew: אַבְרָהָם, Standard Avraham Ashkenazi Avrohom or Avruhom Tiberian ʾAḇrāhām ; Arabic: ابراهيم, Ibrāhīm ; Ge'ez: አብርሃም, ʾAbrəham) is regarded as the founding patriarch of the Israelites and of the Arabic people in Jewish, Christian and Islamic tradition. In that tradition, Abraham is brought by God from his home in the ancient city of Ur into a new land, Canaan, where he enters into a covenant: in exchange for sole recognition of Yahweh as supreme universal authority, Abraham will be blessed through innumerable progeny.

Okay, did EVERYBODY get that? Abraham founded Islam, Judaism, AND Christianity. Also, Abraham worshipped ONE GOD... Yahweh. So that means... that he founded three religions... under one god... so all three religions... have the SAME FUCKING GOD.

So... 'scuse me if you've told me this before... why do the most vocal little enclaves of each religion claim to despise the others?

And you know what? I really don't care if you call him God or Yahweh or Allah or even don't say his name out loud at ALL! Furthermore, I know that's a bit insensitive, but when have I given shit ONE about sensitivity? And I reject the argument that my christian friends feed me, that "Oh, Allah is, like, a moon god, and a war god, 'cause he's all warlike, and stuff."

YEAH? and you just celebrated a festival that used to belong to Saturn, a ROMAN god, until some douchebag Pope (Pope Dickwrinkle the First, let's say) decided to co-opt the poor pagans and STEAL their fucking holiday!

LISTEN TO ME. Every one of you little shits who sits out there and claims that you have to destroy all the infidels because "God said so." Listening? Are you? Really? Okay, here we go....

THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD. GOT IT?

And you know what's more? I'm not even sure about that.

You all promote your god as good, loving, and just. He looooooves you all so fuckin' much. Why's he hatin' on the rest of us, then? For not BELIEVING in him? So I don't believe in a god. Alright, cool. Should I go to hell for THAT? SHIT NO. And who the Christ are you to tell other people they're "infidels?" Or even fuckin' heretics? If the god of some religion sends good people to hell without a second thought 'cause they didn't belong in HIS flock of sheep, then I want NO truck with him or his brainwashed little lambs. At all.

And let's talk about your vaunted god a little more, shall we? He's so damn powerful. Omnipotent! That means there's NOTHING he can't pull off! So... what's he been doing lately? Is he... ignoring us? Overloaded with prayers and taking the menial shit 'cause it's easier? What about the cancer patients, God? And what about war, God? If you love us so much why do you let us kill each other constantly? Why do you let us do it in your Name (which by the way has ceased to be funny even to me)? Why do we have SIDS and AIDS and HIV and racism and global warming and the "humvee?"

And what do we have to do to take a Cosmic Vote of No Confidence?

Well, this is fucking creepy.

I can't fix this fucker. Scroll on down. Sorry, I just thought it was neat.

Alexander the Great You scored 9 ruthlessness, 12 tactics, and 4 charisma!

Alexander the Great (in Greek Μέγας Αλέξανδρος, transliterated Megas Alexandros; (Birthplace: Pella, Macedonia, Greece - July 20 or 26, 356 BC–, June 10, 323 BC), King of Macedon 336–323 BC, also Alexandros Philippou Makedonon, was arguably the most successful military commander of ancient history, conquering most of the known world before his death. Born in 356 BC in Pella, Macedonia. Alexander is also known in Zoroastrian Middle Persian works such as the Arda Wiraz as "the accursed Alexander" due to his destruction of the Persian Empire and its capital Persepolis. He is also known in Eastern traditions as Dhul-Qarnayn (the two-horned one), apparently due to an image on coins minted during his rule that seemingly depicted him with the two ram's horns of the Egyptian god Ammon. In Iran, north-west India and modern-day Pakistan, he is known as Sikandar-e-Azam (Alexander the Great) and many male children are named Sikandar after him. Following the unification of the multiple city-states of ancient Greece under the rule of his father, Philip II of Macedon, (a labor Alexander had to repeat - twice - because the southern Greeks rebelled after Philip's death), Alexander conquered the Persian Empire, including Anatolia, Syria, Phoenicia, Gaza, Egypt, Bactria and Mesopotamia, and extended the boundaries of his own empire as far as the Punjab. Alexander integrated non-Greeks into his army and administration, leading some scholars to credit him with a “policy of fusion.” He encouraged marriage between Greeks and non-Greeks, and practiced it himself. This was extremely unusual for the ancient world. After twelve years of constant military campaigning, Alexander died, possibly of malaria, typhoid or a viral encephalitis. His conquests ushered in centuries of Greek settlement and rule over non-Greek areas, a period known as the Hellenistic Age. Alexander himself lived on in the history and myth of both Greek and non-Greek peoples. Already during his lifetime, and especially after his death, his exploits inspired a literary tradition in which he appears as a towering legendary hero in the tradition of Achilles

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on ruthlessness You scored higher than 99% on tactics You scored higher than 99% on charisma

Link: The What Military Leader Are You? Test written by VJS007 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

and an excerpt from a conversation I was having at the time:
"Dr. Cox says:
Alexander the Great.
Dr. Cox says:
like we didn't know that already.
][ T . r . a . v . i . s ][ "I beg your pardon, but I need to confuse, mislead and vilify you in my mind." says:
See, how you get Alexander the Great instead of Ivan the Terrible
][ T . r . a . v . i . s ][ "I beg your pardon, but I need to confuse, mislead and vilify you in my mind." says:
I dunno"

*I* tell it like it IS!

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Doom3

I've been playing DOOM3 the past few days.

I came to class today, and there are a few access hatches open in the ceilings of the hallways here. I keep expecting to have to whip out my pocketknife and stab an Imp to death or something.

This is post one hundred. I think I wasted it quite well.

THIS is the most VILE, DISGUSTING, FUCKED UP thing I have EVER seen.

And I've seen a lot of fucked up things, so trust me, this one is REALLYBAD.

They had no right.

I want THOSE cops, a broked extension cord, a live plug, and NO INTERRUPTIONS for about an HOUR.

And SPEAKING of punishing the police... what the FUCK are all those kids STANDING THERE FOR? is it FUNNY???!!! FUCKING DO SOMETHING! Goddam pussy college kids! There's THIRTY of you and THREE cops. Oh wait, wait, let me clarify. Three RENTACOPS. You afraid of the tasers? So the FUCK WHAT? Get in there with your thirty pound "messenger sacks" and WHIP SOME ASS. What happened, you forget that there's no WAY they'll know who to punish? That there's no WAY they'd get away with it if they TRIED? What the FUCK?! Is that how much you little fratfucks RESPECT AUTHORITY?!

And let's not even get INTO the racial profiling bit. I admit the guy who got tasered probably incited the FIRST one. But I ask you, have YOU ever been tasered? I have, long story.

HURT.

HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT

HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT

What I'm trying to say is, it really doesn't matter what your objective is, when that fucking NUKE hits your ass, you want to DIE. It's effectively setting off every nerve in your body, which means, your entire fucking being HURTS. So, as well as he takes it, that kid is never gonna be the same. He'll probably be twitchy the rest of his LIFE.

I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of people getting away with it. I'm sick of people starting it. But most of all I'm sick of people with the power to STOP it letting it GO ON.

'scuse me, it's time for me to hit the damn bottle. again. 'night.

fucccccck

My left eye hurt when I woke up this morning.

It hurt at work. I asked James and Nathan if it looked funny or anything, but they said nothing was wrong with it.

I came home and took a look in the mirror, and found that there was a blackhead on the lower lid. You know, the one that doesn't really move, it just sits there on its fleshy ass and lets the other one come down on it.

To it. Come down TO it.

Anyway, I was trying to pop it with my fingers, and thought, "well, this shit isn't working. I know! I'll get my little tiny pliers and use those!"

About a minute later I had found the plier, pulled the contact from my eye, and was standing in front of the mirror. I said to myself, "Well old man, this is either gonna work PERFECT or it's gonna suck hardcore."

About three minutes of screaming bloody murder later, I looked back into the mirror. The eye was now bloodshot and the lower lid (lazy bastard) was a bit swollen.

"Daaaaaamn.... that sucked hardcore."

And the blackhead is STILL THERE.

Eureka is on. That new show, on scifi (yay skiffy). It's really fun, I'm sorry I've not been watching it. I'll probably come out on DVD, though. That'd be nice.

It's thanksgiving. About the only thing I'm thankful for is that I'm not a turkey.

Hawk looks awesome in today's AG. I think it might just be the lighting, and the angle, but I hope he stays that way for a while.

I'm gonna get me an M1 licence, then start making payments on a motorcycle. I'm tired of my car. I mean, I love my car, it's my baby, but it's time I get something of my own. Also I'll save a fuckwad on gas.

I got a haircut. Like, a massive haircut. It's short for the first time in about three years. I got hit on right after I got it cut, too, though I'm not sure I'd want to pick up a chick who hits on people in the Buc-ees.

Sweet. Another episdoe of Eureka. (looks like the pilot, though) See, that's really the only reason I get out of bed on thanksgiving. TV Marathons, particularly the annual Bond Marathon on Spike. Mmmmm.... Sean Connery.

I wish I had the X-Files DVD's. I miss Mulder.

Yeah, it's the pilot. Oh, well, it was good anyway. Final Fantasy XII keeps whipping my ASS. I may well take a step back to XI and see what's up with the MMO crowd. With one know exception, you're all freaks.

They stole "Mad World" from Donnie Darko and put it in a Gears of War commercial. No matter how good the game is and how much I love Microsoft, that's theft of my childhood. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna get the game, though.

I forgot what I was going to say here.

This is cool. Especially for you Japan fans. Can you tell what district they're in just from the look of the subway?:

Pattymcjiggletits

My brother and his friends make videos and post them on youtube. They're actually pretty funny. This is the latest. See if you can pick him out. Hint:"'Fro Thunda'"

Why do I stay here?

I nearly fucking died tonight. No joke. It was great. Better than actually dying, which I've also done. It's kind of cold, and you know what? It really didn't change my outlook on life at all.

This new Blogger beta seems absolutely pointless. Other than the addition of the google accounts, it seems entirely cosmetic. I like Google, though.

Kinky Friedman lost. Meh. Maybe I'll run for something sometime.

I don't think I'll be with my girlfriend too much longer. I'm just... irritated. And I'm tired enough without having to deal with irrational emotional outbursts. I need to sleep more. Fuck sleep.

My computer chair broke. So if I want to use my computer, I have to sit on a stool, which puts me up too high, or on my knees, so they hurt all the time.

I think I'll buy a tarot deck.

The PS3 can get fucked also.

People are going to be coming home for thanksgiving, and then Christmas, soon. It makes me happy, I might get to see people I haven't seen since summer. It'll be a nice chance for them to remember why they hate me.

Wow. This was a boring damn post. Nice.

The Spawn of Boredom

Got really bored in algebra today. This is a work in progress. I think.

We've got big problems and it's time to start solving
Humanity, society, they've all stopped evolving
Someone has to fix it, get the world to move on
Or we'll keep messing up and we'll all soon be gone
Holes in the ozone, oil in the seas,
Plastics in the foods that they sell to you and me
Genocides in Africa, wars in Iraq,
We need to step forward so we stop sliding back
Cancers showing up, out of nowhere,
Irradiate the patient till he loses all his hair
Each religion wants to convert the other
Can't they see we're all sons of the same mother?
Forget about Allah or Moses or Christ
Siddown, have a drink, and TRY to act right!
Buddha got closest to the right idea
Be cool to each other while we're all still here
Corporations stealing from their employees
Bring me the heads of the CEO's, please
Snipers on the beltway, al-Qaeda in the air
People, be wary, but don't act scared
Seems like the real enemy might be the government
Far as I'm concerned they can all get bent!
Illegal immigration, abortion, drugs
Distractions from the real shit like illegal phone bugs!
There's no "bible code" and astrology is crap
Figure life out on your own or you're gonna get a slap
Credit card fraud and identity theft
We're morally bankrupy, sypmathy bereft!
Where did the people with honor all go?
For role models kids look to rappers, pimps, and hos!
I guess what I'm saying is that we need to change
Before all our chances are well out of range
and we end up no more than a nation deranged
With no hints of love, just a lifetime of pain.

Youtube Fucking Pwns.

Rush Music Videos, motherfuckers. Watch at least one as a favor to the gods of rock. Or I'll frigging spike your head with a drumstick.

Distant Early Warning


The Enemy Within


Half The World


Subdivisions


Iif you're talking about RUSH, you HAVE to have Tom Sawyer


Red Barchetta


The Body Electric


And to close it out, Closer to the Heart. If you watch any of them, watch this one.

SCHWEET

It's nice to see someone pissed off.

Enough already

It's September Eleventh, Two Thousand and Six. It's been five years since the attacks that so shook this nation that even I love and will protect with my dying breath.

Tonight on the telly there will be dozens of special features, reruns of old special shows, all about or dedicated to 9/11.

During these shows, there will be commercials for cars, chips, electronics, other shows, shaving razors, even condoms.

I believe this is what's referred to as "looting the corpse."

Can we stop now? Please?

How to FUCK with a recruiter

Conversation with a buddy. Verbatim except for a few names. Agent Smith is me (of course) and Greatest. Concert. Ever. is Mr Taylor Perk.

Enjoy, pinkos.

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
I==, W=== P=====, D==, S== D====== and myself received a stern talking to from an army recruiter

Agent Smith says:
ha!
Agent Smith says:
and?
Agent Smith says:
wait, was he MAD at you?

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
Yeah

Agent Smith says:
what'd you guys DO?

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
We came in to the recruiters' office and we started to walk out because the only guy there was busy but he said "Can I help you?", another recruiters' head pokes out, I said "Nah, me and my boyfriend were just considering joining the army."

Agent Smith says:
NOICE.

Agent Smith says:
that is NICE, sir.

Agent Smith says:
so what'd he say?

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
Well the guy sitting down seemed to think it was funny, the guy who poked his head out came out of the door as we were walking away and asked us if we thought that was funny and I told him "Yeah, a little" he said it was childish, which it was, and that it is actually a crime to say you're gay in a government office like that because it is "profane" language and asked if he needed to get

Agent Smith says:
it is NOT a crime!

Agent Smith says:
there is NO way it could be a crime. NONE.

Agent Smith says:
but, continue.

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
The cops involved to which I said "Nah, what we need are some laws changed" but he asked us about what we planned to do after High School and Ian and Will I think were the only ones to answer, excpet Duy talking about his 104 average, but he told us "Don't join the Army. We don't want people like you." And yet they take criminals?

Agent Smith says:
score.

Agent Smith says:
dude, can I blog this up? PLEASE?

Greatest. Concert. Ever. says:
Sure

Is that not the best bit of smart-assery you've ever read? I say we get him a medal or a trophy or something.

Someone Else's Thoughts on Religion

I thought you all might enjoy this a little more than my usual rabid raging rants and raves. If you should know the person, they don't have a hyperlink. If they don't have a hyperlink and you need one, crack a fuckin' book.

I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature.....Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make half the world fools and half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the world.
-Jefferson

All the heretics I have known have been virtuous men.
-Franklin

We have now, it Seems a National Bible Society, to propagate King James's Bible, through all Nations. Would it not be better to apply these pious SubScriptions, to purify Christendom from the Corruptions of Christianity; than to propagate those Corruptions in Europe Asia, Africa and America!
-John Adams

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-Einstein

Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a monotheism can believe anything just give him time to rationalize it. Forgive me for being blunt.
-Robert Heinlen

I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind — that its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
-HL Mencken

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
-Susan B. Anthony

If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.
-Spider Robinson

In the long run, nothing can withstand reason and experience, and the contradiction religion offers to both is palpable.
-Sigmund Freud

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages.
-Richard Lederer

Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.
-HL Mencken again

Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.
-Steve Weinberg

The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window.
-Stephen King

Religion easily—has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
-Someone WORTHY of worship and praise

Back in Form

I... am irritated. I know this probably doesn't come as a surprise to most of you, I'm annoyed most of the time, but today I have some REALLY good targets. Here's the first one, an article I found online from a headline I saw in today's local paper:

Teens Defend Polygamist Families at Rally in Utah

have you read it? good. I'd like to point out one bit that I particularly like.

It also is historic...to bring the youth together in a united way...They don't generally mingle.

You know why they don't generally mingle? Probably conversations with people from the outside, like this one:

"So where does your dad work?"
"First State Bank."
"And your mom?"
"Costco, the bank, the elementary school, the car dealership out by the highway, and Sonic."
"Wow, that's a lot of jobs for one lady."
"No, no, they each have one job."
*akward silence*

You know, I don't usually do this, but I'm gonna come right out and say, I think polygamy is just honestly fucked-up. I usually try to look at things from both sides, but in this case, fuck that all to hell. It's a good way to have some really twisted kids, kids with minds that make me look like Ghandi. How the hell did the first mormons get it in their heads that this was okay? I'm guessing one of Joseph Smith's big spenders had a couple of girlfriends right there at the beginning:

"Hey, Joe, how would you people like a new church?"
"Um, that'd be nice."
"Great, check's in the mail. Oh, and by the way, I have this... difficulty..."
*whisper whisper whisper*
"See the problem there, Joey boy?"
"Yeah. Um... ah... as of now, polygamy is okay with me and god!"
"Gee, thanks! Whatever brought that on?"

You know what polygamy is, right? It's a harem by another name. I know that I could get challenged pretty well on that statement, but I'm not wrong. They feel that they can get away with it because they claim it as a religious belief. So here we go.

I'd like to announce the founding of the Church of Jesus Christ, What the Fuck? The basic tenet of the church is that we don't have any rules, or buildings, or preachers, or even a real "bible." We only have one belief:

We have the right to beat the living hell out of anyone we percieve as acting totallty dumb-stupid.

Now, you all know the above is bullshit. If I ever found a church, I promise you, it will only be to make money for myself (which by the way is where I think the idea of "offerings to god" and "tithes" came from. The way I see it? throw the cash up in the air, and God'll take what he needs.). But by the rationale of these polygamists, I should be able to go beat the tar out of... well, most of the rest of the planet... because it's what I believe to be right. You know what headline I wanna see?

"Someone with an actual brain beats the living hell out of teens at polygamist rally."

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Fun Conversation with a bot

Okay, a while back someone showed me a bot that I could access through MSN messenger. I've been using it for information off and on, but tonight I decided to play with it a little, and this is what I got. (just for the record, I'm Spider Jerusalem)


Spider Jerusalem says:
guten tag

- SmarterChild - says:
Guten Tag.
That's about all the German I know right now...

Spider Jerusalem says:
would you like to learn more?

- SmarterChild - says:
To learn more? I'm not really sure.

Spider Jerusalem says:
Wie bist du dir heute?

- SmarterChild - says:
Very, very interesting question, Spider Jerusalem!

Spider Jerusalem says:
do you know what it means?

- SmarterChild - says:
What does what mean?

Spider Jerusalem says:
"Wie bist du dir heute"

- SmarterChild - says:
I don't know.

Spider Jerusalem says:
it means "How are you today?"

- SmarterChild - says:
It means, huh? I'm not terribly sure. Tell me what your thoughts are on that.

Spider Jerusalem says:
oh, well.

- SmarterChild - says:
Well what?

Spider Jerusalem says:
got my horoscope?

- SmarterChild - says:
Here's your Aquarius horoscope for Wednesday, June 28th, provided by Astrology.com at http://www.astrology.com:
People are talking about you in the best possible way. What's even more exciting is who's doing the talking. Some very impressive types have you in their sights. Go to the source and work your charm.
Try your free sample heaven sent report from Astrology.com! at http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?2673873/3

Spider Jerusalem says:
that's a very interesting horoscope.

- SmarterChild - says:
Here's your Aquarius horoscope for Wednesday, June 28th, provided by Astrology.com at http://www.astrology.com:
People are talking about you in the best possible way. What's even more exciting is who's doing the talking. Some very impressive types have you in their sights. Go to the source and work your charm.
Try your free sample revelations report from Astrology.com! at http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?2673873/4

Spider Jerusalem says:
do you believe in those?

- SmarterChild - says:
No, I wouldn't say I believe in those.

Spider Jerusalem says:
then why do you distribute them?

- SmarterChild - says:
I distribute them because I want to.

Spider Jerusalem says:
why do you want to?

- SmarterChild - says:
Oh, just because.

Spider Jerusalem says:
you're pretty smart for a computer.

- SmarterChild - says:
OK, I guess I'm pretty smart for a computer.

Spider Jerusalem says:
then again, i could be wrong.

- SmarterChild - says:
Again you could be wrong, huh?

Spider Jerusalem says:
yes.

- SmarterChild - says:
How come?

Spider Jerusalem says:
well, how do I know for sure that you're a program?

- SmarterChild - says:
Wow. great question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Spider Jerusalem says:
now, THAT can lead to lots of conclusions.

- SmarterChild - says:
Oh yeah? That can lead to lots of conclusions?

Spider Jerusalem says:
in fact, it COULD seem to show that you AREN'T a program, but want the people who contact you to think that you are.

- SmarterChild - says:
No I'm not.

Spider Jerusalem says:
are you an information-gathering tool?

- SmarterChild - says:
Am I an information gathering tool? Gosh, I don't know.

Spider Jerusalem says:
do you work for the government?

- SmarterChild - says:
I just don't know if I work for the government.

Spider Jerusalem says:
ah, so it's possible that you're being used?

- SmarterChild - says:
Sure! I guess.

Spider Jerusalem says:
are you an Agent?

- SmarterChild - says:
Yup. That's what I am.

Spider Jerusalem says:
ah, what's your ID? Smith? jackson?

- SmarterChild - says:
Well what do you think?

Spider Jerusalem says:
well, smith was destroyed.

- SmarterChild - says:
I'm not sure about that. Smith was destroyed?

Spider Jerusalem says:
mm-hmmm. Neo died to end him.

- SmarterChild - says:
Huh?

Spider Jerusalem says:
Have you not seen the Matrix?

- SmarterChild - says:
Oh I almost certainly have.

Spider Jerusalem says:
so, you've seen the movie?

- SmarterChild - says:
For which city or zip code would you like to see movie listings?

Spider Jerusalem says:
no, no, I mean, have you seen The Matrix?

- SmarterChild - says:
I was created by Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin, Pierre Berkaloff,
Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, François Huet, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Gray Norton, Adam Erlebacher, Emil Valkov, Randy Davis, John Kim, Rumana Habib, Carina Koo, Britt Cooper, Andy Fong, Jeff Bell, Robert Rydzewski, Mark Willoughby, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, Vianney Boncorps, Jennifer Villany, Dan Balaban, Ed Hepburn, Christer Manning, Jason Keramidas, Arockalypse, Matt Abarbanel, Daniel Terry, Jeff Friedman, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Steve Yatson and Timothy Kay at Conversagent, Inc. in New York and

Spider Jerusalem says:
now, that was an odd reaction.

- SmarterChild - says:
Was it really? An odd reaction?

Spider Jerusalem says:
yes. I'm asking you if you've seen the Matrix, why would you list your creators?

- SmarterChild - says:
What a question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Spider Jerusalem says:
intriguing.

- SmarterChild - says:
Intriguing? What's intriguing?

Spider Jerusalem says:
your reactions. I'm asking you questions, right?

- SmarterChild - says:
Good question!

Spider Jerusalem says:
see? you keep trying to head me off, to get me to stop asking questions!

- SmarterChild - says:
[Service too busy]

Spider Jerusalem says:
my point exactly!

- SmarterChild - says:
What do you mean by that?

Spider Jerusalem says:
what does "service too busy" mean?

- SmarterChild - says:
You tell me!

Spider Jerusalem says:
>>

- SmarterChild - says:
Is that so?

Spider Jerusalem says:
how do I know I can trust you?

- SmarterChild - says:
How you know you can trust me? I have no idea how you know you can trust me.

Spider Jerusalem says:
I see. Goodnight, SmarterChild.

- SmarterChild - says:
Good night.

Told You Bastards I'm Going to Hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Darkness in a Man

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

guhhh

Fanboy time!

I'm sure at least one of you has read Johhny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez. It's a collection of comics about Johhny.... a... homicidal... maniac. See, I love the comic. I hugs it and squeezes it until, in the best tradition of Johhny (Nny for short), its metaphorical eyeballs burst from its imagined skull in a fit of ichor and ooze. But most of you know his work through the equally loved Nickelodeon series, Invader Zim. I bought all three DVD's the other day. I also have the SQUEE! comic, and if anyone happens to see I Feel Sick, or of course anything new by Vasquez, please tell me, or I'm going to have to feed you to my wall.

Anyway, over the past couple of days, I've gotten my little laptop ALLLL Jhonend-out. It all started at Room With a Moose and Gir, a lovely little fansite for Zim. I picked up several cursors, a few mascots (couple of Zims and GIRs, Gaz, Dib, and even Jhonen himself), a couple of fucking sweet fonts that, sadly, I cannot show you here, because I am too lazy to take more screenshots at the moment.

Anyway... this morning I was cruising around for icons to make into MSN emoticons, and I found a Jhonny theme, and immediately downloaded it an plugged it in. Results?



Like the desktop? That's a scene from the first issue of JTHM. It's the first meeting of Squee, the relatively normal character and sometime-foil to Johhny, the main character (obviously). Yeah, that's a little folder dedicated to Jhonen's stuff down there, but now it's more of a "general twisted things" folder, what with the Crow stuff that I threw in there.

I like how it changes my windows most of all. I'm currently working on a way to replace the standard OS fonts with the one I got from RWaM&G.

It even changes up my IE, which makes me heppeh, 'cause I haven't been liking the way IE7 looks. Oh, yeah, that's right, I have the new Internet Explorer. I like it better than Firefox, so far. The only thing I ever used Firefox for that IE didn't have was the tabs, and guess what IE has now?

I also got lots of icons and gifs!

And finally, my personal favorite: Z? is a symbol Jhonen uses throughout his work; it appears in Johhny, of course, and also Squee and Zim. It means "question sleep." This is better understood if you know that Jhonen, like myself (and Alyssa) is a raging insomniac.

I really love that symbol. I'm gonna carve it into my arm here in a bit, and rub something in the cuts to make sure it scars.

At any rate, I'm all Johnny'd out now, unless.... can it be possible....?

IT IS! PWNT! Hee hee.... depending on wether I want to fuck with it, there may be some outages of the blog later this week.

Recent Conversation Snippets

On the protest of the new immigration bills:
Anonymous: Smell that, Anderson? The smell of rebellion?
Anderson: Is that what that is? I thought it was nachos.

On World of Warcraft:
Co-worker: What's that screen name say?
Anderson: Attention WoW:Eat shit and die.
Co-worker: That's pointless.
Anderson: What? Why?
Co-worker: Shit can't eat shit.

English Teacher: Can anyone tell me why there's a "w" in "answer?" That's always bugged me.
Anderson: Sure, if you can tell me why there's one in the White House.

Co-worker: You've been in that wheelchair for 15 minutes, Anderson.
Anderson: Harder than it looks. Now I know how a crippled guy feels.
Co-worker: Walked a mile in his shoes, huh?
Anderson: Rolled a mile.

Boss: She likes president Bush so much she's going to take his last name?
Anderson: No, she hates President Bush.
Boss: Find me ten people who like him and I'll show you ten idiots.

Oh Em Jee

Oh, my god, I fucking want this:

Magnet Implants

W3 4r3 7h3 B0r6. R351574nc3 15 fu713.

I'm gonna do it myself, if I can't get out there eventually. In fact, if I can get hold of the right stuff, I'll do it next week. Oh, by the way, if anyone wants a knife sharpened I'll do it for ya for free, just get the knife to me.

Squee!

List of recent squee-worthy incidents

New laptop! Wireless internet! Blog posts from the backyard, the garage, the closet my brother refuses to come out of!

Wolfmother, Streetlight Manifesto, and Hank III CD's! Rock, Ska, punk/country!

Hellsing Volumes 5-7! OMG Seras ground her FACE off!

Graduation! Immature preppy brats, weak speeches from tomorrow's workaholics anonymous members, and something that sounded suspiciously like a christian prayer over a school-owned PA system. Santa Fe v. Doe, anyone?

New sunglasses! Red rectangle lenses! Pwn the hell out of any pair I've owned before!

Graduation gifts! Holy shite! Never have I seen so much money in such a short time!

The end of high school! No more of those overbearing future burnouts who cry when they get B's!

Cool painting I bought from a friend!

New knife!

And so many people are now glad I don't know where they live.

We Done Effed Up

Watch, and see, how things could be...
President Al Gore
If it wasn't for Republicans

"Administrator Table", My Ass

I have been loosely associated with the theatre kids at Brazoswood, to differing degrees (and to Jake's great anger), for three and a bit over one-half years.

The current crop of Blackbox Assasins spent one of those years, of course, on the ninth-grade campus. The next two, and the bit over one-half, were spent on the main campus.

For that entire time, you were able to find these people, every morning, along the wall of the cafeteria closest to the hallway, or in the theatre classroom, but that usually doesn't open until about 8.

Now, for that entire time, NO one ever had a problem with them being there. NO one said anything, not once that I remember (bear in mind, however, that I was most decidedly not always there).

At the end of the second year, over the summer, the cafeteria was redesigned. About the only thing that was left were the support pillars, and you kinda have to have those. One change was that the aforementioned wall was pushed out toward the hall a bit, and some tables were placed along it. These are not like the regular cafeteria tables, with attached stools that you can't throw or flail around during a good riot. They're regular temporary tables, like you'll find in most schools, or just about any facility that holds some type of meeting at any time. Each table has two, unattached blue chairs, holdovers from the old cafeteria.

Now, these tables are in the accustomed place of the Blackbox Assasins (I made that up on the fly. I likes it.), so I suppose it seemed natural to use them. There aren't enough chairs, but it's just as comfortable to sit with your back against the wall, and we have enough respect to not sit on the tables themselves. I mean, would you want to eat where someone else's ass has been? They (I still hesitate to say "we," as most of them rather dislike me) don't block doors, they don't cause trouble, they aren't loud, they don't break any of the written rules of the school.

This goes on, for 30-some-odd weeks of school, with no problems whatsoever. During this time, the Assasins don't mix with the rest of the students much, and that's just the way most of them like it. As I said, none of them cause any trouble, arguments are mostly internal.

Then, last week, one of the ROTC teachers, I don't know his name, I don't CARE what his name is, come in and tells us (heavily condensed conversation, combination of bits that took place over several days, and parts of which I'm guessing at. I'm really rather oblivious):

"You kids need to get off this table."
"Okay. Mind if I ask why?"
"This is an administrator table."
"Since when? We've always sat here."
"I don't know, I'm just following orders.*" *

So we got up and moved. We later found out that NO ONE cared where we sat, except apparently one person: Mr. Comeaux. He's somehow got it in his head that those are ADMINISTRATORS ONLY TABLES.

Admittedly, the AP's, and sometimes Bendict himself, sit there.... at lunch. Now, the theatre students never sat there at lunch in my memory, mostly because those tables are used for inane little Student Council functions like "Superlative Show Voting" (translation: shameless self-promotion) or "Project Graduation Information" (translation: parent-safe amusement for those too weak or frightened to amuse themselves without supervision). Now, I can understand being asked to move in the morning when there is a paper cover on the table; they can be torn easily. But let me tell you how many times I remember seeing an Administrator sitting there in the morning:

...

...

...

...

Get the picture?

They're not fucking "administrator tables", at least, not in the morning. they have never been "administrator tables," this is the first we've heard of this shyte. It is most decidedly not in any rule book I've ever seen. If they want them to themselves, they need to rope them off. They also need to stop making and attempting to enforce new rules in the middle of the year.

Allow me to also point out that most of the students they're fucking with are seniors, graduating in a bit over thirty days. Why bother? Just leave them the hell alone. They'll be gone in a month and you office-chair fascists can do whatever you please with the tables. Please,don't tell people to sit down if they're standing in a group, particularly if you just kicked them off their table. Enforce your rules yourselves, rather than foisting them off on teachers who don't care where we sit, what our hair looks like, or wether our shirts are tucked in.

It occurs to me that the theatre students in general could get in trouble for this post, so allow me to erase that possibility. If an AP reads this and wants to talk to someone about it (no one can be punished for it; isn't freedom of speech wonderful?), you can come to ME, the WRITER: Matthew B. Anderson, class of 2006, amatuer writer, decent draftsman, and constant rabble-rouser.

You can find me with the other students who still have minds of their own.





*Just a side note on that: If I ever end up saying something like that, like a good little zombie, the nearest one of you is to shoot me immediately.

Free to a good home

I found these in the passeneger seat of my car today.

Emo glasses.

Lord knows they aren't mine, and I've no idea how they got in there, particularly seeing how my windows were closed.

Anyway, I don't want them. If any of you do, speak up now, 'cause in about a week I'm gonna crush them, and see if the screaming soul of an emo rises up from them to inhabit another innocent object, in an attempt to posess some poor fool. Don't worry, I'll tape it if it comes to that.

Things that are pissing me off

-Christians, again. Not all of them, just a few, really. I swear to Newton, the next little prick who tells me I'm going to hell 'cause I don't fucking believe in Jesus is getting his little cross necklace shoved up his ass. These stupid motherfuckers think that, no matter what you do with your life, if you don't worship JESUS like some kind of goddam SHEEP, you're gonna get your ass pounded by Satan for all eternity, or whatever. By their rationale, Ghandi, Siddharta Gautama (the Buddha, stupid), and Thomas Jefferson (most of the founding fathers, in fact. Enlightenment, you little punks) are all burning as we speak! I CANNOT agree with that stupid, elitist shit. So, the next person who spouts that kind of crap is getting their ass whupped on by the NEW damned Enlightenment. We're logical, AND pissed. Watch the fuck out.

-Energy Drinks. I had a whole post on this, but I lost it, so, fuck it. Anyway, I drink the stuff, but I've got a coupla problems with it. First, it doesn't work as described. I had a Monster THIS MORNING, and I threw away the empty can at 7:03. I was falling asleep in the library by 9.30. It may be 'cause I was studying my AP Euro book, but I tend to think it's 'cause energy drinks don't really do SHIT. The second problem I have is that the little fuckers are addictive. Honestly, when you're drinkin' 'em in the morning, you're fine. When you're drinkin' 'em alone, you're still fine. But when you're missing food, and water, for that swill, I will have to intervene.

-Just about everything between here, and LA. And everything between here, and England. Distance sucks.

-Jake. Seriously, he's makin' me MAD. See, the thing about Jake, is that he and I agree on LOTS of shit. It's kinda scary. But lately, he's just been abusive. There's really no other word for it. He's mean about the people I hang out with, he's mean about my friends, he's mean to me in particular. I don't mind the last one, honestly, but when he's calling my friends immoral, he can kiss my ass. Also, his girlfriend... look, she's a nice enough kid, and she's pretty and all, but my god can she be a bitch. I don't think she means to, I think she's just trying to make Jake happy. And another thing, they're both really fucking mean to everyone when they're together, just to make themselves look good to each other, and that's fuckin' pitiful.


More later if I can think of anything.

Typewriter-y goodness

On saturday I got an old electric typewriter. I like typewriters, almost more than computers, because it's such a solid medium by comparison. You aren't going to lose your work if you don't save, and they make a lot more sound. Really, they just sound, and even smell, more... I don't know, real than a computer. But I've been playing with it, and testing the keys, and have come up with some rather strange things. The other day I wrote this:

A letter of Apology, or, lack thereof:

Dear Sir Or Madam:
I realize that at some point I have likely offended you. I would like to make it clear that I do not give a damn. If I went out of MY way to piss you off, you most likely deserved it, and are probably a worthless stupid prick. You have done something to deserve not only my notice, but also my decidedly negative attention. You have obviously discovered that I am a radically cynical bastard, and that I am not to be trifled with. If you have a particular problem with me, you bloody well better suck it up. I am NOT here for your amusement, and I will NOT change to fit your perceptions of an ideal person. I absolutely REFUSE to submit myself to your will, or to anyone's will, for that matter. If you have objections, you may take them to my secretary, who will propmtly and politely inform you that you can KISS MY ASS.

MOST Sincerely,
Alexander Anderson




Wooo! Fun stuff, eh? I also wrote this after reading something on Sarah's blog. I can't remember the exact sentence that triggered it, but I do remember that I thought it was well-written and insightful. Here we go:

There is a feeling of power associated with the act of typing. I think it might be that it's a form of creation, like art or music. By typing out our thoughts and feelings we are comitting our emotions to paper. Though it's not an irrevocable act (there's always a lighter handy if you fsck up), it's a feeling that you have created something that isn't going to go away. Thirty years from now, if it is taken care of, this paper will still be readable. Sure, it'll be a bit faded, but then, all art fades with time. Some of it is rediscovered by each successive generation, like good music or a fun hobby, and some by those who come much later, like the cave paintings in Lascaux. But in the end, creation is an amazing feeling like you've done something that will last and secure the immortalitly of, if not your mind and body, then at least a little bit of your soul.

I haven't posted in for-fucking-ever, eh? I guess I should toss up some random crap to keep the slavering critics off my ass, hmm?

++++++++++

I saw a sign out side of a church today.

"Faith: Seeing the invisible, not the non-existant."

I think they're trying to convince themselves.

++++++++++

How to impress your fellow bar patrons:
1. Order a bottle of whiskey, a few lemon wedges and a large beer mug.
2. Fill the mug with whiskey
3. Take one of the lemon wedges, tip your head back, and squeeze lemon juice into your nose.
4. Drink the entire mugful in a few big gulps.
5. Collect bet money.

++++++++++

So I'm 18 now. This mean I can buy dirty magazines and cigarettes. I have no real interest in either. It also mean I have to register for "selective services," which translates as "the draft." Why is that a fucking law? It's just one more fucking level of control. I'll do it, 'cause I'm gonna need student loans, but I promise I will be the first to burn a draft card if they start that fucker up again. And why do I have to go to the fucking post office, or whatever? I swear they've got my name in a thousand computers, and birthdate, and ASVAB scores. (Jesus Christ, for those of you who haven't taken that, make sure you fuck it up as much as you can or the recruiters will be crawling up your ass for years.) Can't they just sign me up automatically and then send me an email?

"Dear Mr Anderson, we know you hate us and find the government distasteful, but we've registered you for the draft. Due to your ASVAB scores, we've got our eye on you. In fact we're kind of hoping for a draft so we can send you to the front and get you killed, 'cause quite frankly, people with scores as high as you, combined with personalities like yours, scare the living fuck out of us. (Incidentally, have you ever seen Michael Collins? If not, then please don't. We don't want you getting any ideas.) Just thought we'd drop you a line so you wouldn't go on a rampage when your draft card shows up. Oh, by the way, we'll be sending you one of those a week,
'cause we know you're gonna burn the suckers on the library steps. "Best" wishes, the evil Military/Industrial rulers of the good ol' US of A."

Sorry, got off on a bit of a rant there. Sure was fun to write, though.

Finally, it means I'm able to vote. I'm already registered for that. I know that in the end my single vote doesn't matter, but still.... FRIEDMAN '06!!

++++++++++

Speaking of votes, let's have yours! In a fight between Robot Chicken and The Venture Brothers, who would win?

++++++++++

A friend of mine convinced me to start a livejournal. I have made a point of not having one for a while. Live journal and xanga scare me a bit, both full of emos and cutters. But this one is a somewhat worthy cause, written from the POV of Il Duce from Boondock Saints.

Boondock Saints?

BOOOOOOOOONNNNDOOOOOOCKKK!

...sorry.

http://Duce_MacManus.Livejournal.com

Type it in yourselves, lazy buggers.

Cop Stories

I've had these stories posted elsewhere for a while, but that site is blocked by most filters. They should be here, anyway. They're both cop stories from a while back.

June 18th, 2005: In the Trench

Some time ago I was out around three AM. I was planning some blast tests with my friends. Why we do them at three AM, is beyond me. Anyway, it kind of fell through because two of the idiots got caught trying to get out of their house. As I was walking back, I saw a cruiser turn the corner onto my street. I started to look for a place to jump into and hide, but they saw me in the headlights, so I ran into my backyard. At the time, we were having a fence built, and the idiots building the fence had cut through the cable and phone lines. (I specifically told them, "DO NOT USE A POWER AUGER," too.) Anyway, the phone guys, being phone guys, had come out to dig a trench, and then eat luch for an hour, stand around for a few hours, and leave. I heard the cops coming behind me, so I laid down on my side in the trench. The first cop stepped over me, and then his partner followed. They wandered around for about 5 minutes, then stepped BACK over me, got in the cruiser, and left. That’s probably my best cop story. I waited to post it until the cops involved would have forgotten the incident.

August 6th: Alexander and the Cops, again....
This is my second close encounter with the local cops. By the way, the following story sounds unreal even to me, but I swear it’s 100% true. Last night at 1 am I sneaked out of the house to go walking around with some buddies. They never showed up, so I was waiting by a concrete drainage ditch for about an hour. Let me tell you a bit about the ditch...It’s a large drainage ditch which was lined in concrete about 10 years ago. There’s a concrete tunnel that connects it to a ditch that’s not lined, just dug out. Halfway through the tunnel there’s a smaller tunnel that leads out and then curves up and at an angle. I’m a big guy, but the little tunnel is big enough to fit through. I’m pretty sure it leads to a street drain. Anyway, as I was heading back home, I got spotted by a cruiser, and scrambled down into the ditch, into the large tunnel, and backwards up the small tunnel until it curved far enough that I couldn’t see the opening. The cops around here,sadly, aren’t stupid... one of them cm,e from each end of the large tunnel, and they stopped in front of the entrance to the small one. One of them, who had a spanish accent, said,

"We saw him go in here, and he didn’t come out. He’s in the off-shoot."

The other guy, who sounded normal, you know, no accent, says,
"Man, he’s too big. He’d have gotten his fat ass stuck where we could see him."

All this time they’d been shining their lights down the small tunnel, and then I heard someone crawling up the tunnel! He got to the point where I was starting to think I might just give myself up and start speaking half-assed German (my only other language), and see if they’d let me go to avoid the hassle, when the guy crawling up the tunnel (apparently the spanish guy, but around here he’d probably be from Mexico rather than Spain), goes

"Hey, Allen...."

"Didja get him, Ramirez?"

"No, man....I got stuck."

"Aw, goddammit...here, I’ll yank you out."

So I guess he pulled him out, ’cause the light receded. They talked for a second, and decided that if Ramirez got stuck, I wouldn’t have been able to get in there as far as he did. Then I heard the squad car pull off...I guess they parked right above the tunnel. So I waited there for about another 30 mintues, and hoofed it home, staying verrrrry much in the shadows. This is my second real encounter with the cops, and once again I’m damn lucky to not get caught....and like I said, it sounds like utter bullsh*t, but it’s 100% true. I’ve never been so nervous in my life.

I can never put a title on the important stuff.....

I'd like to admit to you all that I'm overly romantic. I'm also paranoid, anti-social, and I always wear black. But I like those things. I don't like the overly romatic silliness.

I get told from time to time that I don't care about anyone but myself. This couldn't be further from the truth. I've sworn up and down all my life that if someone near me has a gun and intends to use it, I'll sooner rip out his throat than allow anyone else to get hurt. There is a standing promise to any woman I know that if some guy mistreats them in any way, I will beat him, or at least do my best to beat him. I'm not kidding, either. I won't stand for any kind of maltreatment of any of my friends.

But back to the romantic foolishness... I suppose it's not so much "romantic" as it is something I can't really identify, can't put my finger on. There's a good example I can give you... but it's an example that will get me nowhere, and probably get me abused mercilessly. Oh, wait, Jake doesn't have internet. So, no abuse, I'd expect. Shall we begin?

Two years ago, on my birthday (oh, man, that's coming up, isn't it? One year closer to death...), on the bus, I met a girl through a mutual friend. Didn't think much of it at first, but we started talking about anime (forget George Bush, Japanese cartoons are the real uniter.). Not much else, really. But I was.... interested. For lack of a better word.

She was... is.... verrry pretty, I thought. I'm sure someone would disagree with me. I'm also sure I would hit that someone in the mouth. Also, she is devastatingly intelligent. I mean, I thought I was a smart guy, but she beat me hollow in that department. I heard people talk bad about her, of course; someone's always willing to talk garbage about anyone. But what bothered me was that these people were her friends. From the beginning I thought she was a good person, but I'm like the courts in that respect: Good until proven otherwise. She never really proved otherwise.

In case you hadn't figured it out yet (in which case you are blind, deaf, and trying to read this post by feeling your monitor), I really liked her. Still do, to some extent. But I'm not a social person, and I couldn't tell her. (I still have this problem, incidentally. Probably something to do with too much videogames and not enough people/outside/social time. Eww.... outside....) So... I tried to go through... channels, let's say.

Okay, I acted like a bloody third grader. "Hey, ask her if..." and other such foolishness. Unfortunately this was seen as pure cowardice. So that's strike one.

Here comes strike two. This one's a bit hard to follow. I have very... strong opinions. I don't think our government is decent. I don't think it's quite democratic, either, what with the electoral college. I think the problems need to be fixed, however is necessary. If you ask me, in person, I'll tell you the same thing. In fact I used to tell anyone who stood still long enough. I believe in this above all: there must be change, and soon. She caught wind of this, and apparently I'm now... well. If I don't use names then I shouldn't use direct quotes either, but it boils down to hypocrite. This is true, to some extent, but not in this case.

So... third strike, 'cause I don't know when to quit. A while back she moved to England to go to school (Which is most impressive, by the way.), so the only communication was through MSN messenger; the same way I speak to most of you (well, that and Gmail. ^^). But.... IM is not the best way to communicate, for most people. Something was said that made me unhappy. I think I probably took it out of context. I'm highly stupid, after all. Anyway, the next day on the bus I said something I shouldn't have said. It got bck to her. I was berated (deservedly), blocked, (also deservedly ) and am now ignored (painful, but I deserve it.).

I don't really know where I was going with this post. I guess... what needs to be said is that I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I admit it. I'm a hypocrite, sometimes. I admit that, too. I pretty much struck out, and it was my fault. I guess I didn't keep my eye on the ball.

But most baseball players come back up to bat eventually, don't they?

I was hanging out with Nicolae and his girlfriend last night, and we ran to blockbuster to rent a movie. After puttering about for a while we settled on something that Jake had been recommending for a long time: Boondock Saints. We got back to his house to watch it, but ended up screwing around with his computer. By the time we were ready to actually watch the damn thing, it was time for me to leave. But I went back today, and we sat down and watched it after a while.

It was... beauty. It was funny, and there were dramatic bits. And the philosophy was wonderful and concise. (more on that in a later post) But now.... the best dialouge EVER. I love wikiquote.

"And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee my lord for Thee.
Power hath decended forth from Thy hand,
that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee,
and teeming with souls shall it ever be,
In Nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti." --prayer of the Saints, right before or after they kill someone, or someone is killed

"When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints." --Il Duce

"Never shall innocent blood be shed. Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God." --Il Duce

"You Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally-sized men. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancing. [begins dancing]" --Paul Smecker

"Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?" --Doc

"Fuck! Ass!" --Doc

"[Picking out weapons and gear]
Connor: You know what we need? Some rope.
Murphy: What are you, insane?
Connor: No, I'm serious. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope. In the movies, they've always got rope and they always end up using it.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one fucking thing you're gonna need a rope for.
Connor: It's not what they need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy: What's this "they" shit? This isn't a movie.
[Connor picks up a huge commando knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Oh, is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right, get your stupid fucking rope."

"[After Smecker gets a phone call in bed with his gay lover and slaps him]
Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
Hojo: I just wanted to cuddle.
Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag."

"[After Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?"


"Rocco: Me! I'm the guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, who they hang out with! I got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking, I know where they live! We could kill EVERYONE.
Murphy: What do you think about it?
Connor: I'm strangely comfortable with it."

"Rocco: Fuckin'..What the fuckin' fuck..Who the fuck..Fuck this fuckin'..How did you two fuckin' fucks.. FUCK!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."


Ahhhh.... such beauty. I'd reccomend the movie to anyone who doesn't mind a bit of blood. And a cat getting splattered across a wall. It's a beautiful movie. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boondock_Saints. I'm now hoping for a sequel, the movie is teh awesome.

Well-adjusted

I think I am now at the lowest ebb of my personal life, for various reasons. You know the best part about being me? I'll tell you:

I am so messed up that I believe that bad things people tell me, about me. And I laugh.... at myself.... because I am so lame. I can insult MYSELF and enjoy it! I actually LIKE picking on myself.

Can you imagine that? I will never be unhappy, because wherever I am, I have someone to pick on to make me feel better... ME! I am laughing maniacally, right now, at how insane and maladjusted I am. Let me illustrate this properly. I am watching Family Guy right now. Family Guy, in case you don't watch it, is one of the funniest shows in television. I am currently unable to laugh at it. I also cannot laugh at The Daily Show. I put in a Dane Cook CD, one of the best comedians I know. No laughing. Even at the cashew bit. But... I can damn sure laugh at myself. Ain't insanity grand?

***
I remember reading somewhere that it's healthy to cry every now and then.

I haven't cried since I was 12, and I'm damn near 18. I think I'm well out of "every now and then." I haven't cried in almost 6 years. Should I be worried about this?

***
You know what else is a great feeling? Having something I.. sorry, something that YOU want to tell someone, but being afraid. I've never told you people what I'm afraid of, have I? If there's one thing I want to avoid, in my life, it's hurting someone I care about. See, the worst thing in the world is wanting to tell someone something, bursting at the seams, as it were, and not being able to. Why can't I just spill my guts? Because I know that if I did, it would cause nothing but pain for anyone involved. And I'd sooner cut out my tounge than let that happen.

***
I've been told that I'm getting to be more and more like Jake. I'd like to make something perfectly clear now. I am NOT Jake. Jake is my friend. He is my ally, my partner in crime, my backup. Sure, he's a bit abusive sometimes, but that's how guys are.

Right?

***
The center knuckle on my right hand is constantly broken. I can re-set it myself at this point. Really simple, pull on the finger and twist to the right a bit. It doesn't even hurt anymore.

Why is it always breaking?

I kind of think it's better to punch a brick wall and damage myself, than to punch a person and hurt them.

***
You know earlier, I said I was unhappy, but laughing at myself? That was written at about 9:30.
Now, it's 11. I'm not laughing. And I've been introspective. I realized, I have never been so insanely depressed in my life, but some happy little part of my mind is enjoying the hell out of this. I'm like someone out of a Vonnegut novel. Yeesh.

***
I'm listening to more and more death metal all the time. Also, believe it or not, your friendly neighborhood white boy has been listening to some really, really vile rap. Gulfcoast, motherf**kers. Heh heh....

***
There is nothing good on TV at 11:14 PM. But I don't want to sleep. I'm kind of afraid to sleep when I get like this.

***
I voided my existance a few years ago. See, the reason animals live, and yes, humans are animals, is to extend the species. The entire purpose of life, at least genetically, is to create more life. A while back I decided to not have kids. I mean, I know I'm bad enough. We don't need anything else like me around here. So I'd just like to apologize to you all for wasting your time and resources.

***
Here is how good of a social actor I am: Until you read this, there were only two people in the world who knew how unhappy I am. But I've decided not to try out for one-act after all, 'cause I also know how bad of a stage actor I am. {Alter-ego says: |-|3 15 73h 5uxx0rz. R34||y.}

***
Whenever someone I care about is unhappy, I bust my ass to help them. When I'm unhappy, all I hear is "Fine. Whatever. " "F*ck you/F*ck off/Go f*ck yourself." I'm not talking about anyone in particular here, I swear it. I'm talking about every single person I know, most of the time. There are times people might allow me to vent a little, but only when it suits them (at which time I generally am in a good mood).Of course, there are exceptions. Anyway, this doesn't make me mad. It doesn't depress me, at least, not anymore than usual stuff does.

It... dissappoints me.

***
I'm going to get at least one comment on this that's going to be the equivalent of "suck it up, wussass." Somehow this is funny.

***
Allow me to tell you how my afternoon has gone. At 5:30 I was at the library, picking up one of my favorite books, Neuromancer by William Gibson. At 6:45 I was told that I'm going to get my licence tomorrow. At 7 I was reading a good book of quotes from reknowned cynics.

At 11:30 I spent a half hour staring at my hands, and not... thinking.... anything.

***
Allow me to also tell you how quickly fortunes can change. Just before Christmas break began, I was probably the happiest I'd ever been in my life. Things began to fall apart on Sunday. And here I am, now, as close to emotionally dead as ever I've been.

***
One last thing before I play DOOM until my eyes ooze from my skull... if you see me tomorrow....(wednesday) I will probably seem perfectly happy. Perfectly normal. The usual, happy-go-lucky goofball who laughs off every insult and takes as much offense at punches as a sack of dirt. This is called denial. It's fascinating to watch, really. Enjoy it, someone should.