God... DAMMIT....

I know I usually don't do this, but I'm gonna start this out with a little disclaimer. I don't have any beef with Jews or Muslims; you guys get enough shit from the white man and his churches and don't need me piling on top of that, y'know? My problem is with Christians, and religion in general. And yeah, it's gonna look like I'm baggin' on everybody, but don't get mad about this shit. Some of this has been simmering for a long time and it's time to let it out. If you have something, anything to say, go on and put it in a comment. I've had a dry spell on those lately.

So.

Poking around wikipedia. Reading about the ViewAskewniverse and ran across the article on the Buddy Christ.

I'm bored and can't sleep, so I click on the link to Jesus. Not Buddy Christ or pop-culture Jesus, just straight-up Jesus on the rocks. Or the cross, whatever.

I'm looking at the contents and I see "Islamic Views on Jesus." I've never been quite clear on this, so I click on it, and guess what I find? THIS:

In Islam, Jesus (known as Isa in Arabic: عيسى), is considered one of God's
most-beloved and important prophets and the Messiah.

This, naturally, boggles my little mind. So, thinking this is a good example of why my dad says Wiki is unreliable (mainly, people like to fuck with other people's heads), I decide to click on the link to an article dealing entirely with that topic. Here, I find THIS:

Islam holds Jesus (Arabic: عيسى‎ `Īsā) to have been a messenger and a prophet of God and the Messiah.

So, judging by this, I continue under the assumption that, no, I have not fallen victim to yet another cosmic joke. He's the Messiah for Muslims ANNND Christians? Could that mean... they're on the SAME SIDE?! I wonder....

Working on a hunch, I decide to look up Abraham. There's an old theory I have, that is borne out by the following statement:

Abraham (Hebrew: אַבְרָהָם, Standard Avraham Ashkenazi Avrohom or Avruhom Tiberian ʾAḇrāhām ; Arabic: ابراهيم, Ibrāhīm ; Ge'ez: አብርሃም, ʾAbrəham) is regarded as the founding patriarch of the Israelites and of the Arabic people in Jewish, Christian and Islamic tradition. In that tradition, Abraham is brought by God from his home in the ancient city of Ur into a new land, Canaan, where he enters into a covenant: in exchange for sole recognition of Yahweh as supreme universal authority, Abraham will be blessed through innumerable progeny.

Okay, did EVERYBODY get that? Abraham founded Islam, Judaism, AND Christianity. Also, Abraham worshipped ONE GOD... Yahweh. So that means... that he founded three religions... under one god... so all three religions... have the SAME FUCKING GOD.

So... 'scuse me if you've told me this before... why do the most vocal little enclaves of each religion claim to despise the others?

And you know what? I really don't care if you call him God or Yahweh or Allah or even don't say his name out loud at ALL! Furthermore, I know that's a bit insensitive, but when have I given shit ONE about sensitivity? And I reject the argument that my christian friends feed me, that "Oh, Allah is, like, a moon god, and a war god, 'cause he's all warlike, and stuff."

YEAH? and you just celebrated a festival that used to belong to Saturn, a ROMAN god, until some douchebag Pope (Pope Dickwrinkle the First, let's say) decided to co-opt the poor pagans and STEAL their fucking holiday!

LISTEN TO ME. Every one of you little shits who sits out there and claims that you have to destroy all the infidels because "God said so." Listening? Are you? Really? Okay, here we go....

THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD. GOT IT?

And you know what's more? I'm not even sure about that.

You all promote your god as good, loving, and just. He looooooves you all so fuckin' much. Why's he hatin' on the rest of us, then? For not BELIEVING in him? So I don't believe in a god. Alright, cool. Should I go to hell for THAT? SHIT NO. And who the Christ are you to tell other people they're "infidels?" Or even fuckin' heretics? If the god of some religion sends good people to hell without a second thought 'cause they didn't belong in HIS flock of sheep, then I want NO truck with him or his brainwashed little lambs. At all.

And let's talk about your vaunted god a little more, shall we? He's so damn powerful. Omnipotent! That means there's NOTHING he can't pull off! So... what's he been doing lately? Is he... ignoring us? Overloaded with prayers and taking the menial shit 'cause it's easier? What about the cancer patients, God? And what about war, God? If you love us so much why do you let us kill each other constantly? Why do you let us do it in your Name (which by the way has ceased to be funny even to me)? Why do we have SIDS and AIDS and HIV and racism and global warming and the "humvee?"

And what do we have to do to take a Cosmic Vote of No Confidence?