This is a blog created by a very opinionated guy. I hope you understand 'opinionated,' because that's all the warning you get. So, just remember, if something on this blog offends you, just LEAVE.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year's Resolutions

So, it's a tradition to make promises to yourself every new year, resolutions. Another, lesser-known tradition is to sacrifice a cat at midnight, but I'll let Jake take care of that. Lots of people's resolutions don't last more than a month, at most. Then again, most people's resolutions are about important, world-changing things like their weight or their personal addictions. I don't think in such lofty terms. I don't worry about my weight, it's good joke fodder. My only addictions are books and electronics, and if anyone plans an intervention for me concerning those, they're gonna get a combat boot up their ass.

Okay. To get back on subject, I decided to make some resolutions for myself. Mostly out of boredom. But as I wrote them down, and thought about them, I realized that these are things that everyone should commit to, or at least try. So, pay attention.

Resolution #1: Question Authority.
I know, I know, you all do it on some level. But we don't do it enough. If we all began to ask why things have to be such and such a way, things might not actually have to be that way. They might actually be... dare I say it?.....BETTER. I'm probably going to get arrested now, for saying that things might not be perfect, but if you people questioned authority so much as I do you would have some to that conclusion already.

Resolution #2: Protect yourself from The Man.
I know that to most of you this is going to sound like more of #1, but it's hard to pad these out to the length I want, so, shut the fuck up. Anyway, back on topic. You people do realize that the Man is quite close to putting a tracking device up your asses, right? Honestly. IF you'd been watching the news lately (it sounds cynical but the truth is, most people my age have little to no interest in current events), you'd know that Bush has ordered wiretaps without court justification. This is illegal. Then there's the pile of steaming bullshit that is the Patriot act. I don't want to get too far into that; it's a post unto itself. But I will say this: the renewal has been delayed for two months. Delayed implies that it will come, it's just not here yet. When the skycap tells you your plane is delayed, what she means is "It just isn't here quite yet."

Resolution #3: If it's funny, laugh.
You people remeber Katrina, right? Of course you do. You remeber all the damage, and the looting that was going on, and how badly the government fucked up the whole thing afterward. Have you noticed that we've only just now started making fun of it? Carlos Mencia was making fun of in on Comedy Central's Last Laugh '05. I think John Stewart poked a bit of fun at the "black kid looting/white guy finding supplies" bit, but that was all that happened right after. Look, if it's funny, and you know it's funny, what's stopping you from laughing? Fear? Of what? They can't keep you from lauging, people! You want to be politically correct? FUCK that shit. Honestly. Look, you can go ahead and laugh at any joke. You can make fun of anyone you want. And anyone who tries to sue you, or get you arrested, or anything along those lines, is a dumb motherfucker. If we're all equal, then we're all equally deserving of abuse.

Resolution #4: Speak your mind.
Here's another thing that bugs me, and it's something I don't do enough. People, you have to say what you feel. Don't mince words, don't play mindgames with people, and of course don't lie. (Unless you're a well-known Republican, in which case you are by definition a pathological liar.) If you think you love someone, tell them. If you don't like someone, tell them that, too. If someone asks you for your honest opinion, or hell, just your regular opinion, give it to them. Don't fuck around. Well... usually. Keep social decorum, if the situation calls for it. If someone needs to be put in their place, do it. If someone needs to be elevated, and lots of people do, do it. It'll make you feel good. Making other people happy makes me feel good, and if it make me feel good it should feel like a hit of good coke to the rest of you.

Resolution #5: If it needs to be done, do it.
You know we all see it all the time. There's something that we look at or read about and say "Someone should do something about that." Then we keep walking and soon forget about it. Why? I don't know, I'm just as guilty as the rest of you. But if you see something, and you can do anything about it, do it. See a poor guy? Give him some cash. So what if he's just gonna buy booze, you probably wouldn't that much better with it. See someone being picked on? Put a stop to it. Your congressman, or governor, or president, is being a stupid fuck? Write a letter, send an email... write a blog post . I'm sure they'll be happy you pointed something out, if they're not too drunk or stupid to read it.

That's about it. I hope you think about it, and comment, 'cause I really feel that this lovely blog is going to waste, going unread, etc. Come on, am I really that boring?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Dragoste Din Tei

You've all heard it. Probably over, and over, and fucking OVER, until you're ready to claw out your eardrums. For most of you it's become and avatar of evil (which naturally means I like it a lot). What is it, you ask? You know. You KNOW. Two words....

Numa....

....Numa

Ahh, I can already hear the screams. It's a Romanian song. The name of the song is not "Numa Numa," it's Dragoste Din Tei. It was originally performed by The Outlaws, but most people know it by Ozone. Apparently it's the exact same thing either way, just two different bands. I hunted up the lyrics and translated them (yay for online translators!). Dragoste Din Tei means "Love from the Linden Trees." Don't ask me what a Linden tree is, I've no fucking clue and I'm not too interested in looking it up. The entire song is a cell-phone call, so you should know the following: "beep" means cellphone signal, or call. Another thing: You should really listen to the song on a pair of headphones/earpieces. It sounds a lot better and there's some stuff most people would miss on a regular set of PC speakers. I don't have a link to the song here, but trust me, you can find it anywhere. A good place to look is on Flashplayer.com. The Napoleon Numa Dance is really funny.(Well, shit. I guess I do have a link.) It's a Flash movie, so those of you with slow computers are advised to get the hell out there and UPGRADE, you little punks! Anyway, here are the original lyrics (posted without permission! I'm a REBEL!!).

Chorus 1 (4 times) [these don't actually mean anything, they're just sounds]
Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha

Verse 2
Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Chorus 3(2 times)
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Verse 4
Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
So, yeah, that's it. Some of you might be hearing it in your head right now. If you don't like the song then I HOPE you're hearing it your head, 'cause you deserve it, you uncultured prick. But to most people in the US, or at least all the people who read the utter shit I post, have no fuckin' clue what any of it means. So, here you go. Remeber, it's all a cell-phone call.


Chorus 1 (4 times)
Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha [These still don't actually mean anything. What, did you think random sounds in Romania would be words in English? No? Then why are you still reading this?]

Verse 2
Hello, greetings, it's me, an outlaw,
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I sent you a beep, and I'm brave [Possibly strong. It came out both ways.],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

Chorus 3(2 times)
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.

Verse 4
I call you, to tell you what I feel right now,
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I sent you a beep and I'm brave [again, might be "strong"],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.
See? Wow, huh? That's really kind of deep. I like it. It actually seems to mean something, and it's not all about pseudo-rebellion (see also: those faggots Green Day), or how your dog done left ya, and your wife done left ya, and your truck broke down (see also: country music), or how wonderful and perfect America is (see also: the really bad country music that makes me nauseous), or bitches, drugs, guns, bling, and cars (see also: just about any rap song).

Lots of you know that I listen mostly to older music, like RUSH (all hail Lifeson, Lee, and Peart) and Pink Floyd, and the Beatles. Old lyrics fit the song and generally mean something. But I also like dance music, 'cause there's usually no lyrics to screw up the song. Well, that and I'm a computer geek so anything digital makes me drool. At the same time, I like foreign music, like J-rock (Woot for IZN, channel 75 on local cable!) and Russian Communist propaganda music (those "evil commies" sure knew how to compose a good march). I can't understand the words so I don't start analyzing the hell out of them and ruining them for myself. Oh, the music's also pretty good, too.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Cruise journal--Day 1

Still in port
4.40 PM

I am now, technically and legally, a visitor to the sovereign nation of Panama. I like it here; the people are friendly and speak at least broken english. Best of all, I can look out the window and see our car parked down the road in a lot. We're still in Galveston, but the ship is registered in Panama. Makes something cheaper, I think.


AS Report: 85% through book 4. Kato is a hardass now. I hope Metatron gets killed soon.


I miss my computer! And Largo and Ethan! And Miho...

Day 2

Fucking Nowhere
5.30

Slowww day. Really, all day at sea on the way to Cozumel. I'm not going to be able to hang out with people my age. None of them have the kind of quirks my friends at home do, the little eccentricities that make them fun to be around.

The damn thing [the ship] lists alot, from side to side. I tied a watch to one of the fire sprinklers in the cabin, just too see how far it was tilting. The most I ever saw was ~7 degrees, but I haven't been in the cabin all day.

The fscking toilets here could kill a man. It's like the airplanes on a toilet.... shit. It's like the toilets on an airplane. Lots of suction. The thing could rip your arm off if you let it.

AS Report: Almost done with book 7. Michael is frickin' awesome. When the hell is Setsuna getting out of Alexiel's body?


9.04 PM
I need anime.

Day 3

Between Cozumel and Progreso, Mexico
7.53 PM

Fssssssck. My back is sunburned and my shoulders hurt. See, that's why geeks don't go outdoors. The sun fscking hates us. I got burned snorkeling, which was pretty cool. I'd have a new hobby out of it if it wasn't for that damn gaseous orb. All in all, though, it's been a good day. OH! At about 7.30 this morning I was sitting on deck eating cereal and reading a book, and some kid's ball dropped into my lap. This little girl runs up and asks if she can have her ball back. I gave it to her and then there's this peircing shriek.

"JENNNYYYY!!!"[!]

This fat lady ran up and picked up the little girl. Then she looked me directly in the eye.

"Damn thug! Stay away from the children!"

I love that jacket.

AS Report:Almost done with book 10. Setsuna's still in a woman's body, can someone fix this please? If Kurai dies I'm gonna fsck somebody up. Whee! Kato's back! I've got a feeling that Raphy's ressurection attempt is going to get fscked up.

Day 4

Docked in Progreso, Mexico
4.31 PM

Fsck Mexico.

No, seriously, this place is a goddam hole. I knew Mexico was bad, socially, economically, whatever. Even the pickpockets are bad, so obvious. One guy didn't find my wallet right away and damn near started frisking me. But the vendors! ShitfuckcrapjesusCHRIST! You people remeber the Chappelle show skit where Dave is wandering around "in" the Internet? Remeber the Mexican guy who keeps popping up trying to sell him.... "enhancement" pills?

"Hey, Buddy! [pronounced "bah-dee"] Buddy buddy buddy! I have something great for you!"

The vendors are exactly like that.

"Hey, buddy! I have great deal for you! See this necklace? For anyone else, $40, but for you...$15! Good deal, yes!"

Fuck 'em. I did get a pretty cool skull shaped pipe, though.

AS Report: Done with 11, so I'm going to be bored as fsck tomorrow. YAY, Kurai didn't die, and Setsuna's back in his own body!


2.00 AM, technically the next morning, but still dealing with day 4.
At sea

Listened to an awesome band for about 3 hours tonight. They're a cover band called Blood Power. I usually don't care for cover bands, but these guys are GOOD. And they're covering good songs, too. They ended the main show with Metallica and the second show (and yes, that's "show" not "set") with "Freebird."

Day 5

At Sea
Noon

Boorrrred. I'm going to go see a guy carve a chunk of ice in an hour. That's how bored I am. I'm actually looking FORWARD to watching a guy cut up a chunk of ice with a chainsaw. Help me!
AS Special Report: I know I'm done with the books, but I've got one more thing to say: I was dreaming in manga frames last night. Not that I mind.
1.30
They cancelled the ice thing. They were going to have it on the open deck, but they called it 'cause it was too cold

Did everyone get that? They called off an ICE sculpture....

..... because it was too COLD.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Stop Dying, Dammit!

I just found last night that Richard Pryor died on the 11th. Why does nobody tell me these things? For those of you who don't know, Richard Pryor is one of the greatest comedians of recent history. He topped the list of Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians, beating out George Carlin, who came in at #2. I personally think that was a mistake, I'd say they're about equal, but no one asked me. Anyway....

It seems like all the greatest people of this century are dying. We just went through the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination last week. George Harrison died a few years back. Ronald Reagan's been dead for a while now. I may not agree with his policies but I have to admit he was a great man. Ghandi was assassinated in 1948. I think I can consider him a great person of this century, right? Martin Luther King, Jr and Malcom X were both offed, probably by the government, just like JFK. Pope John Paul II died not too long ago. Mother Theresa died, probably of some bug she picked up in Calcutta or something. Isn't it great how all the people in the world we thought of as good and peaceful are dying off? What's going to be left? Warmongers like Bush, wimps like Kerry? I don't think we can have it both ways on this one. Jim Morrison died of heart failure or an OD or something. Douglas Adams, of course; possibly the one death in the last few years that has truly affected me in any way. Mitch Hedburg, another good comedian killed in the line of duty.

Of course, some great men don't do things we consider good. Stalin, Mao, Lenin, and the like are all great men, like it or not. A great man (or woman) is one who does something that spreads to, and effects, the entire world. I mean, you can't say that Stalin didn't have an effect on the United States. If a person is repeatedly in the news, for lots of different actions, then it's a safe bet he'll end up a great man.

Some of the people we value who are still alive are getting along in years, too. Will Shatner isn't as young as he used to be. I saw him on Comedy Central the other night, he looked a bit tired. Denis Leary's still fairly young, but he's chain-smoked for so long that I'm afraid he'll start coughing up bits of lung in the middle of his act. George Carlin.... probably a heart attack, and I'll be the saddest bastard you've ever seen when it happens. Lewis Black, poor guy, he's probably going to be screaming on stage and have an aneurysm. Paul McCartney's looking old too.

Of course, these deaths wouldn't bother us so much if they didn't make us question our own mortality. It may seem true that only the good die young, but everyone dies sometime, right? Celebrities sometimes seem immortal to us. The death of person who, like it or not, is a part of society, will bring death into our minds pretty clearly. Celebrities don't make as much of an impact as people we know, but people we know don't die that often.

At times it seems we're desensitized to death. We see people die all the time. I can watch Keanu Reeeves die in The Matrix: Revolutions on TNT, then flip over to E! (not that I'd really want to; proving a point here) to watch him prance down the red carpet at some inane premiere. For most of us death is not a constant worry. We don't need to worry about tuberculosis or the Black Death or cholera. We're not going to die suddenly from disease. Everything that kills us now either takes years, like AIDS, or is really rare, like Ebola, or is totally unexpected, like random food poisoning. We don't pay much attention to violent death anymore either, when we can turn on the news and watch home video snuff films, security cameraed bank massacres, and the like, all of which is called news but is really just sensationalism.

We're fascniated by death, folks. It doesn't really affect us anymore, because we see it so often... but that's because we want to see it. Death is a fact of life, yes, but it fascinates us. We don't know what's coming after, really. I mean, you can believe that you're going to heaven, or that you're going to be reincarnated, or whatever. But there's always that little bit of doubt, isn't there? Always that little bit of your mind, somewhere in the back where you try to hide it, to keep it quite. That little rational bit of gray matter that's thinking, What if I'm wrong? What if all the ideas I have are wrong, that when we die there's nothing left? That it's the end? It's the things we don't know, the things we don't understand, that draw us like the metaphorical moth to the candle flame (right before we fly right through it and come out nice and crispy). Bigfoot, UFO's, God, and the like are things we don't understand, and might never come to grips with. But the human mind is obsessed with discovery and comprehension. If we can't fathom something, we latch onto it like nothing else. Death is one of those things, or at least the afterlife. Probable afterlife. Possible afterlife?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

So, yeah, I took one more quiz.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
for Alexander:

Day #Who?
What they got you

1st

A flag from an obscure, newly formed country
2nd

An Ouija board
3rd

A long distance calling card which expired in 1998
4th

The costume of Frank from Donnie Darko
5th

A Vincent Van Gogh original
6th

The costume of Frank from Donnie Darko
7th

A coupon for cooked beets
8th

A love potion for trolls
9th

A Turkish passport
10th

A time machine
11th

A jock strap
12th

A book of all of the swear words in every language

Take this Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
( or, take the 'adult' version at QuizUniverse.com )

I'd say the book of swear words, the two Frank costumes, and the OuiJa board make up for the rest of the crap. (Seriously. I'd donate blood for a Frank costume, and I freaking hate needles.)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Quiz Time!

So, I got bored today, and also I really needed to move that emo thing a little lower in the post heirarchy. So I decided it was time for an internet quiz binge. I mostly found links from other blogs, I'm not a very good searcher.


Alexander's Random Movie Quote:


'Being bad feels pretty good, huh?'

- John Bender, The Breakfast Club


Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


Yeah, I like that one.^ Good movie, good character, good quote.


God, 'tis like these people know me:












You fit in with:
Atheism



Your ideals mostly resemble those of an Atheist. You have very little faith and you are very focused on intellectual endeavors. You value objective proof over intuition or subjective thoughts. You enjoy talking about ideas and tend to have a lot of in depth conversations with people.


40% scientific.
60% reason-oriented.


















Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

^^See that shit? Creeeeeepyyyyy.....

It's almost like it's not turning back results entirely at random (I think I just ruined internet quizzes for a few of you.)"







You will go to jail for:
Setting off cherry bombs on the roof of your school while yelling death to tyranny!



Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


I always knew I was a geek, but it's kind of hard to see it set out so bluntly:
You are a super geek





You are into everything that is geeky – which is hard because there are so many types of geeks. You are very smart and have a great imagination. People who call you a geek are just jealous, right?


Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I know I'm actually telling it these things, but still. I think this one might get me arrested:
You are 71% Conspiracy Nut



Locator Image!


You are a conspiracy nut. The government tops your list as the least trustworthy. You are into looking behind what you are given and analyzing propaganda to discover the truth. It's out there.


Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


There was a quiz for "Which RENT character are you?," but I didn't take it. I've honestly heard enough about RENT. Meanwhile, I've got a question: what in the hell happened to Quizilla? When I first went to that site, there were a few silly little things but mostly decent quizzes. Not many I was interested in, but they were good all the same. Now, they've got some honestly stupid shit going on. Seriously, here's some samples from the front pages:

  • "Dear God, you've made me a Whore [True Poem]"
  • "Suicidal Star"
  • "cutting"
  • "Dead Poetic Teen"
  • "More than a Crush(A Harry&Ginny+Ron&Hermione story)"
Seriously. What in the hell? It's "Quizilla," not "StupidWorthlessDisgustingEmoShit-zilla." Come on, dammit, clean up your act. Most people aren't donating their money to you (if they are) to see this garbage. Look, poetry is all well and good, if it's good poetry. What's good, you ask? Here's one for the goth weirdoes: Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. The little whiny emo bastards might enjoy some Emily Dickenson. Poor girl died at, like, 20, from consumption.

Anyway, one last quiz. The required anime quiz. I had to try another quiz after this one, it surprised me a bit:
alucard
You're Alucard. You're undeniably badass and
nothing can stand before your immense power.


Which Hellsing character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

See? That's one, and I tried again:
Alucard
Alucard. You are one of the remaining true immortal
vampires. You are so powerful, everyone fears
you. Even other immortal beings - 'cause you
can kill them. And you're possibly the biggest
bad ass ever. After being filled with hundreds
of assault rifle rounds, you belittle peoples
clothing style and complain about boredom and
make fun of people's power.


Which Hellsing Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

And there's two.. so I took another:
HASH(0x8e32cd4)
Alexander Anderson


What Hellsing charecter are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahh, that's more like it. Alucard's cool, but anyone who's a recurring threat to him is damn cool. Plus we have the same name, Alexander. I haven't told you all about that yet, have I? Eh. Ask me if you really want to know, it's something I'm rather keeping to myself.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

An EMO post?! Th' Hell is Wrong with me?!

HA! I'm actually writing a post about me And do you know what the great thing about it is? I can almost guarantee it never reaches the intended target, so I'm writing this soppy shit for no reason whatsoever! Enjoy it, folks, I'm sure most of you will use it as ammunition for any argument we have for the next few months.

So.... a while back I met this girlI liked her; she was easily the smartest person I'd ever met. In fact, I really liked her. I'm allowed to do that, you know; just because I've never actually had a girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm some sort of fucking eunuchAs usually happens for me, nothing worked out like I planned at first, but I'm a tenacious bastard, I kept trying. Here's my track record:
  • First Try: Shot down. Landing was fairly easy.
  • Second try: Shot down again. Landing was a bit rougher this time, but managable.
  • Third Try: "Shit! Where's that fucking landing strip?!?!"
.... yeah. That's about how it went. Lost the plane on that last landing, but I'm still here.

(Sorry, folks, but I'm going to have to cut this short. My comp froze and I lost everything beyond this point. I really don't feel like recreating it, and you'll soon see why.)

Anyway, like I said, cutting it short. Her name came up on the bus. She'd made me mad the week before, and I said "Damn bitch." I immediately felt bad about it, and said "No, I take that back. She's not a bitch." Eventually the first part got back to her, but not the second part. Ain't Murphy's Law great?

Now, a while back this girl moved away, and she can only reach me through MSN. She did today, and she was pissed. Now I'm being blocked. I guess I deserve it, but I don't think I've ever felt so numb in my life.

So, here's what I have to say to her:
I'm exceedingly sorry. I know that telling you I'm sorry won't help anything, but that's really all I can do. I said something that I shouldn't, and I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I never wanted you to hate me. It sounds schmaltzy and desperate, and I suppose it is, but I really do care about you. Again... sorry.

As for the rest of you... who read this blog.. I might be a little difficult to deal with the next few days. I'd like to say ahead of time that I'm sorry, and I'll be fine soon.