As some of you may know, I live near Houston, Tx., which is often proclaimed the fattest city in America. However, I would like to suggest to the mayor, or city council, or whatever, that Houston is worthy of another, more illustrious title, and I would gladly put in a reccommendation. The title in question?
Dumbest City in the World.
My reasons?
Some of you may have seen the Lewis Black special on Comedy Central in which the stage is decorated with giant block letters that say "THE END." The reason for this particular choice of decor is in Black's monolouge. He wraps up the show by stating that he has seen the end of the universe. He has seen two Starbucks stores on opposite corners of the same intersection, and between these two stores, time simply stops. Where are these stores, you ask? Houston, Texas!
Believe it or not, I have actually seen this evil for myself. I recently was forced to go wiht my parents to my brother's doctor appointment in Houston, and was idly staring out the car window, listening to Rush, when I saw it. Or saw THEM, to be precise. I don't know what intersection it was, and probably will, because my brain has to make a special effort to register such idiocy, and I don't like to make that effort because it starts to hurt after a few seconds. (This could be why I do so badly in math. If I'm not dealing with money or building something, math is pretty much pointless.)
Of course, I can't put them in for the title of "Dumbest City in the World" with just that one item, so I have another shell full of stupid to unload tomorrow: Stupidity of the Houston News.
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